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Codependence - Toxic Guilt & Abusive Relationships

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Uploaded by on Jan 15, 2010

Life coach and author, A.J. Mahari, talks about the nature of toxic guilt that is born in and out of caretaking for the emotions and feelings of someone else while not taking care of one's own emotions or feelings. This enmeshed, toxic, and codependent way of relating leaves many people not only being abused and victimized but also feeling guilty about that - feeling like some how they've done something to make their abuser abuse them. Toxic relationships do not contain healthy love. Toxic relationships block your personal growth, self improvement, and your ability to feel worthy enough to claim your own happiness. touchstonecoaching.ca, emotionalmastery.net and pathwaytoyourhappiness.com

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Uploader Comments (ajmahari)

  • love is an action

  • @fetishisticrose Toxic love is an addiction. Often people do not know how to be alone or how to truly take care of themselves or even who they really are. Toxic love is the past being re-lived over and over again. Toxic love is often abusive, demanding, very conditional and full of expectations and anger when the expectations are met. It is also codependency. Healthy love is mutuality, reciprocity, respect, unconditional love and acceptance, a soft place to land - no power struggle.

  • I wonder if single people are happier!

  • @charreva I think some are and some aren't. However, many single poeple feel "less than" in our world. A world that via media, pop culture, movies, etc, keeps giving the message that if you want to be single or are single and enjoying it, as many people are, that there is something wrong and shameful about that. The truth really is, each person has the right to choose what he/she needs and wants. There are many advantages to being single. You can't beat the freedom :)

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  • My guilt is the hardest part about my relationship with someone with BPD. Mainly because I actually did do something and made choices that anyone would feel guilty for, on top of the already toxic guilt involved with BPD relationships. You've helped me alot because before now I didnt even know my ex of 2 years had BPD. But now its all too clear in every way and I screwed up pretty bad with what I did. I wish I could talk to this lady lol

  • @ajmahari - thank you for that.

  • Thank you SO much for this video! this has been soooo helpful. You said SO MANY things that i have been needing to hear! I can't say thank you enough. Just this one video... I can't imagine how blessed people are that get to work with you.

  • You are SO Fantastic !!! Thank YOU !!! Bless YOU !!! How sad so many don't understand this ~ I didn't and put Myself through hell ! I had to release a lot of toxic Guilt & terrible enabling behavior patterns ~ Your a Great Gift !

  • So wonderfully clear all these words of wisdom. My hope is that others will share this often, with the thought if it doesnt apply to them, it may for someone else IN NEED> and enlighten so many individuals that are in need. Thank you.

  • OK, I would appreciate your insight on a topic I can't seem to find. My GF has a MASSIVELY abusive (Mentally) ex husband. He is big and strong, and intimidates all around him, especially her. I have never met him, as he says he will cut my throat! She is SUPER nice, and so am I, so I want no violence. Here is the kicker...they have a special needs child together, and he uses their child to manipulate her into seeing him often. Always asking her out. She feels bad for him. What do I do? ~Kev~

  • Fabulous. Interesting how this applies to so many lives out there. Great words.

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