The Real Dick Cheney (Eminem Parody - with lyrics)

A political parody of Eminem's The Real Slim Shady.

LYRICS:
"May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Dick Cheney, please don't shoot?
I repeat, will the real Dick Cheney please don't shoot?
They're gonna try to stay relevant here!"

Y'all act like you've never seen an angry white man before
Marbles all on the floor, like Dubya and Condi just walked in the door
Started kissing my butt worse than before
They first were coerced
To spin the false discourse (ahh!)
It's the return of the -
"Oh, wait, no way, you're kidding
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Karl Rove said:
Nothing you lemmings Karl Rove's dead
He's locked in my basement
Liberal media love S&M
Trigga, Trigga, Trigga
"Dick Cheney I'm sick of him, look at him
Walking around saying I don't know what
Siding up to you know who
Yeah, but he's so crude though"
Yeah, I prolly gotta couple screws up in my head loose
But no worse than what's going on in the Fox news room
Sometimes I just wanna get on Glenn Beck and let loose
I can, but it's not cool for Olberman to come at me with the truth
My gun is on my hip, my gun is on my hip
And if I'm lucky, it'll only go off a little bit
And that's the message that I deliver to scare the kids
And I do expect to know what a weapon of mass destruction is
Of course they're gonna know what torture is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the C-SPAN don't they?
We ain't nothing but hypocrites... Well, some of us syndicates
who devour other countries all for profits
But if we can topple regimes and oligarchies
There's no reason that the people shouldn't believe my malarkey
And if you think like I think, there's no antidote
Dictators I depose, don't ignore us and it goes

I'm Dick Cheney, yes I'm the real Cheney
All you other Dick Cheney's are just irritating
So won't the real Dick Cheney please don't shoot?
Please don't shoot, please don't shoot

George Bush don't gotta make sense to win elections
Well, I do, so forget him and forget you, too
You think I give a damn about a civil right
Half you critics can't even pick a fight, let alone govern with spite
"But, Dick, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why, cause my guys all lied just to get me here
So I can, sit me here in a group of my peers
Shoot, Dicky Rumsfeld better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Gonzalez and Condi Rice
Hear 'em argue over what constitutes a tortuous device
Little buggers tried to blast me on liberal TV:
"Yeah, he's rude, but I think he's in the pockets of Saudi"
I should download some sound bytes of George and me
And retell the whole world how Saddam had WMD
I'm sick of you little girl and boy reporters, all you do is annoy me
So I have been sent here to destroy you
And there's a million of us just like me
Who lie like me, who just don't give a damn like me
Who think like me, walk, talk and act like me
And just might blur their Google thing, but not quite me!

Cuz I'm Dick Cheney, yes I'm the real Cheney
All you other Dick Cheney's are just irritating
So won't the real Dick Cheney please don't shoot?
Please don't shoot, please don't shoot

I'm like a broken record to listen to, cuz I'm only giving you
Things you should be afraid of when you go outside your living room
The only difference is I got the gall to lie in front of y'all
And it's always false, and I always sugarcoat it all
I just get on the Fix news and spit it and whether you like to admit it
I just did it
Better than 90% of you politicians out can
And you wonder how can masses eat up this BS like molasses
It's funny, cuz at the rate I'm going when elected
I'll be the only person in the DC protected
Coercing senators votes and neglecting who you selected
And infecting the electorate with my lies and misdirections
And any single person in the Dick Cheney section
Could be looking for work in the recession or pawning his possessions
Or in the tea-party lot, circling
Screaming, I don't give a crud
With his spirits down and his placard up
So, will the real Cheney please stand up
And put one of those fingers on your trigger hand up
And be proud to be out of your mind and out of control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

I'm Dick Cheney, yes I'm the real Cheney
All you other Dick Cheney's are just irritating
So won't the real Dick Cheney please don't shoot?
Please don't shoot, please don't shoot

So?
You think I give a hoot about public opinion?
Ha, ha.
I guess there's a Dick Cheney in all of us.
Forget it. Let's all shoot.

Category:

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[OldSchoolWhips]

That is fucking brilliant!!!! lol

[auntdidi123]

You are a clever song writer and I have a request..."Cheney Shoots Obama"

[wardydave]

Hear em argue over what constitutes a torture device, brilliant :)

[mrteemumilto]

1:25 here Cheney reminds me of my father, cosey and off-duty. It makes be horrified.

[mrteemumilto]

0:35, 1:15 I like your semiotics analysis of his gestures.

The Finnish people never heard of gestures and they think that it isn't possible to tell this things just from the gestures. They have never heard of debate either, and they think it is the same thing as fighting.

[zumiez069]

how does this only have 7300 views?? this is amasing and better than the others

[iniguezawsome]

ha ha

[diddlydaddly1]

very very clever, but NOW there is incompetencw so you need an updated version...

[tatiana97yo]

man you are fucking awsome!and talented!

[YouPlayer911]

That was actually pretty beast