Star Trek 2009 Review by Capt. Herb

Herbert Midgley, the Internet Legend, reviews Star Trek (2009). It is the most honest and best review of the New Star Trek film on the internet.

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[remo2012]

I have written three full length screenplays and never sold or had any of them optioned.

[remo2012]

I love Star Trek so much have to tell the truth.

[remo2012]

He didn't even finish StarFleet Academy!

Sulu had more rank than Kirk!

[TRAdamTM]

"...besides the fact that he completely wiped out a major threat to the federation without any collateral damage.... "

Any colleteral damage?

Oh you mean besides the planet Vulcan LOL

[superkim111]

Someone in a red shirt should word their criticism a bit more carefully...

[787brx8]

@remo2012 The Hollywood business is full of people who will rip you off. Do yourself a favor and keep your screenplays to yourself, and you will die a much happier man. If you are serious about writing, then you need to write a lot more than just three screenplays. When I was elementary school I had written more screenplays than you. I'm not saying any of them were good.

[SideSwipeGTA]

It wasn't a good story.  The whole plot is built on a series of improbible coincedences.

[ZADR1123]

I was most upset the they broke up the trio for sex appeal. They just kinda pushed Mccoy to the side for Uhura. Star Trek doesn't need sex appeal unless Kirk is getting some green alien chick action. I know its Hollywood and its expected but it doesn't make it right.

[pacsouljah00]

"That would be like Wesley Crusher taking command of a ship; can he do it? Yeah."

If Wesley ever took command of anything more than a shuttlecraft, I will get myself to San Francisco, walk over to the Golden Gate bridge and do a Peter Pan off the highest ledge I can find and hope Stovo'Kor is still the way I remembered. (I'm joking of course, but I cringed major when you put the words "Wesley" and "command" in the same sentence.

[NerdilyDone]

I'm pretty ashamed of anyone who more than casually liked this movie. Trekker disappointment aside, this movie was just bland. The actors were meh, Uhura was needlessly trashy, the plot was stale, the script was pretty generic...I could go on. Sure, it had good graphics, but when the story is pretty fail, good graphics mean nothing.

[ajcusn]

Continued: Large corporations like Budweiser and Nokia still exist in the 23rd Century. Orion slave girls are allowed to serve in Starfleet... wouldn't that be a little distracting to the male crew members? Also, a Starfleet Officer doesn't "enlist," he/she is commissioned. CDR Spock is dating Cadet Uhura?! Seriously?! Spock throws Kirk out an airlock. Does the Enterprise not have a brig? Why does the new warp speed effect look like quantum slipstream? I could go on I guess, but I am too pissed.

[ajcusn]

Capt Herb, did you also find it quite insulting for JJ to throw in MULTIPLE references to Star Wars? Also, the set design for main engineering was full of STEAM pipes from some old brewery! The transporter technology was like some kind of "tasmanian devil" from Looney Toons, in addition to them not being able to lock on a target falling through an atmosphere, yet being able to transport onto a ship which is light years away at warp speed!

[Pemphetru]

this... is a bit late, but i think i can resume a lot of anxiety in one sentence: it's just a movie. but! understand the anxiety. but! also, like you said: 2 hours. not much time to develop anything.

[LordXehenniar]

I thought story and characterization were just terrible.

[sirNemanjapro]

Were we watching the same movie? Story sucked. CGI was far more there than it should be. Casting was God damn awful... I cant understand what you liked.