Uploaded on Jul 18, 2011
Jeff the friendly, and not at all evil vampire is back...
It's a little known fact that vampires suffer from toothache and gingivitis, it's because we can't see our reflections, so we miss off most of the bacteria when brushing.
Vampires can't go out during the day, not a problem, at least not until the Rickets set-in.
Having the strength of ten men sounds like fun, but the come-down from the PCP...
I needed the fence fixing, and I made a right show of myself when a man turned up with a van-load of wooden stakes -- he looked at me like I was some sort of freak.
Last week I had a pizza delivered, I'll never do that again; I almost died accidentally eating the supplementary garlic bread.
Being a vampire does attract the women, and that is something that I never could do before. But, this is a little frustrating because all I really want to do with them now is rip their throats out.
As a vampire I have to do my shopping when the sun has gone down, this can sometimes be a real problem, especially in the summer; if you ever lose track of what day it is you can find yourself out on a Sunday evening with no shops open, and trying to buying an evening meal from a petrol station.
You may know that vampires don't get on with werewolves, well that has been a really problem for me -- my dog doesn't love me any more.
Vampires can turn into bats, that means you can get places quickly, although to be honest -- it's quicker to just drive -- and you can take passengers g4rdenspoon facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/G4rdens...