Ode to Tiny Miscreants (Bed Bugs Song)

Coming from California, bed bugs didn't seem like a real thing. The name conjures up the image of cute little cartoon bugs pulling up the tiny little covers on their tiny little beds to stay warm...this song comes from the intersection between that idea and the modern fear everybody in New York has of them today.

I performed this live at Tiny DangerousFun on 1/25/2011

Lyrics:
Fleas, mosquitoes, lice and bed bugs
Find us a tasty treat
Fleas, mosquitoes, lice and bed bugs
Want nothing else to eat
They got little tiny bellies fed by little tiny heads
Right this very minute some are hiding in your beds - I tell you
Fleas, mosquitoes, lice and bed bugs
Make city life complete!

Fleas, mosquitoes, lice and bed bugs
Are predators of man
Fleas, mosquitoes, lice and bed bugs
Will get you if they can!
They'll get you in your workplace
They will get you at the mall
The trouble is they're very very *very very small* and that's why
Fleas, mosquitoes, lice and bed bugs
Confound our every plan.

Fleas, mosquitoes, lice and bed bugs
Are in your bedroom still
Fleas, mosquitoes, lice and bed bugs
Are very hard to kill
You could try a little poison
Make them suffocate with gas
Or open up a window so they *freeze their tiny ass* but somehow
Fleas, mosquitoes, lice and bed bugs
Come back and eat their fill
You know they will
Come back and eat their fill - oh, yeah!

(c) 2011 Glen Raphael

Category:

Music

Tags:

• original
• comedy
• folk
• song
• funny
• guitar
• voice
• pestilence
• plague

[necrotomacus]

Has anyone seen the movie 'Bugs'? Really cheap film, but the acting is intense and the story line is good if you like conspiracy theories. Great song as always. Too bad they don't have School House Rock anymore, you'd probably make a fortune selling songs to them.

[glenra]

I'll try to record a version with sped-up voices so it sounds like bugs are singing - it's too bad Dr. Demento is now just a stream rather than a broadcast station.

[Spintown7]

If I start itching when I go to bed...I'm blaming you. :p