"No Substitute" Love Song Based on HMs/TMs from Pokemon

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Baby, if you're ever kidnapped;
I'll do everything in my power to get you back.
Because you have no Substitute.

If you're taken by a ninja,
I'll do the Swords Dance with him;
give him my Rage, my Dragon Rage.
I'll Body Slam, Skull Bash, and Seismic Toss him.

If a prince tries to woo you away
with his throne and his big Pay Day,
Swift as a Thunderbolt, I'll be there to Counter
with my Strength. Yeah, I'll beat him into Submission!

If a wizard grabs you and Teleports away,
I'll Fly, Dig, and Surf over every piece of this earth,
until I find him. And when I do I'll Reflect his Psychic spells
until his mind's Softboiled and Toxic,
oh, until that Dream Eater is dead.

And, Darling, if a dragon flies off with you,
I will hunt him down.
And our battle will be so epic,
it will shake the ground.
There'll be Earthquakes, Fire Blasts,
Rock Slides, Explosions, and the sounds of Thunder.
And when he tries to Take me Down
I'll give him a lethal Tri Attack:
Water Gun, Razor Wind, and Bubblebeam--
I'll make a Blizzard out of him.

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  Music