How To Green Your Sex Life

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Sure, your love is like a red, red rose—but how green is your romance? Be an eco-friendly dater.

To complete this How-To you will need:

Some organic hemp or cotton underwear
Local flowers
Local, preferably organic food in season
A spot to experience natural beauty
Soy candles
Silky bamboo sheets
Latex condoms
Environmentally friendly lube, toys, or vibrators
Organic herbal massage oil (optional) (optional)
An organic cotton towel (optional) (optional)

Step 1: Find eco-soulmate

Find someone who shares your eco sensibilities. Check online green dating sites.

Step 2: Wear organic fabric

Prepare for the best by wearing organic cotton or hemp underwear.

Step 3: Get local flowers

Offer a hand picked bouquet of local flowers from your own yard or the farmer's market. Don't be tempted by the florist's exotic Icelandic poppies—unless you live in Iceland.

Step 4: Cook with local ingredients

Cooking dinner? Try a menu using local ingredients in season. Get ideas at a farmer's market.

Tip: Even if you're not cooking, a piece of fresh local fruit in season will show you care.

Step 5: Walk or bike

Walk or bike to a rendezvous spot with a lovely natural setting. There are few greater turn-ons to a true greenie than a beautiful sunset view.

Step 6: Smell natural aphrodisiacs

The scent combination scientifically proven to be most sexually stimulating to men is lavender and pumpkin pie—pumpkin, cinnamon, and clove. And for women? Licorice—or anise—and cucumber. Make an all-natural potpourri and let its aphrodisiac properties go to work.

Step 7: Dim the lights

Dim the lights and burn soy candles to save energy—and enhance the ambiance.

Tip: Offer to give your love interest a massage with naturally fragrant organic herbal oil, but have an organic cotton towel on hand.

Step 8: Buy sheets to impress

As your romance blossoms, steal away to the bedroom, where your silky, sustainable bamboo fiber sheets are sure to impress.

Step 9: Turn down the heat

Reduce your carbon footprint by turning down the thermostat as you turn up the heat.

Step 10: Use a condom

Use a latex condom. Although whether they're biodegradable remains a topic of debate, they're much less toxic than polyurethane-based condoms and safer than lambskin. If you're a vegan, find ones that aren't made with milk protein.

Tip: Don't flush that condom—it can actually end up in the ocean.

Step 11: Use eco-friendly sex toys

Don't lose your head in bed: use a petroleum-free, all-natural lubricant; toys made from silicone, glass, metal, or Lucite instead of soft plastic; and solar-powered vibrators (yes, they exist).

Step 12: Shower together

If you need to take a shower after your romp, hop in together to save water.

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Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• HotHowTos
• environment
• green
• living
• relationship
• partner
• wife
• husband
• boyfriend
• girlfriend
• house
• household

[geekdiggy]

they should've named this video "How to Fuck like a Hippie"

[9Finalsora6]

r0fl solar-powered vibrators

[ursulajoni15]

Ok first of all I am 16 wy am I watching this and second of all, I'm alergic to latex

[Kandy543]

save water bath together!

[ilovmc]

rofl......

[dfgdfg888]

"But have an organic towel at hand..."

lol

[camwoodstock]

Now... Really?

[tigerstripes379]

@9Finalsora6 Do you think that means you have to be outside for that to work. LoL

[tigerstripes379]

I think Al Gore created global warming to get us to care that "the earth is diminishing" just so we can spend more money. I opt out!

[littlebro977]

@Tressco umm wtf so you want the earth's population to die out that's smart

[jacobsanchez24]

step one: reuse old condoms LMAO :D

[ytWatchhound]

lol great comment geekdiggy