Adoption Hurts

Adoption is not a miracle. Adoption hurts. Why expect someone to be grateful for a choice that wasn't theirs.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• adoption
• human
• rights
• child
• abuse

[sarrow101]

i understand where your coming from

i am adoptied and i dont see the mericale

i kno many children have better lives but it hurts more than u thk

it wasnt the childs choice

i was putin a family where i suffered from abuse both being hit locked in rooms and metaly

it wasnt eassy it went on from 6 to 13 i am now 13 and still go threw it with my father

it hurts so much to kno my parents hated me so much they couldnt keep me

the most fucked part is my real aunt still has my real TWIN sister="""(

[much2say1]

sarrow101 hiya, your parents not keeping you doesnt mean they hated you. I think nearly all adoptees have had times when they have thought that (I know I did!) No matter how much a parent loves their child sometimes circumstances make it impossible for them to stay together. Im sorry you were put in a rotten family. That family didnt hate you either they were just hateful people. Have you told any one about the abuse? If you havent please find some one to tell, continued below

[much2say1]

I know telling some one could mean yet another move into the unknown but trust me it will be a safer unknown. If you ever need to chat please let me know, I hate to think of you going through this alone. I might be a boring old english woman (well, not that old!) but I'm not too old to listen.

love tina x

[much2say1]

senragproject, you seem to guess alot. Guess work and assumption is hardly the basis for a valid argument. Every child deserves a loving caring home. Every child also deserves the right to have all birth records and legal ties intact and unaltered. Adoption permenantly severs legal family ties and alters birth records. You should be able to love and raise a child without altering and falsifying records. Also having family members who are adopted is not the same as being adopted.

[much2say1]

Hiya teacupgirrrl, Im an idiot sorry, If you click on my name on this site it should take you to my youtube home page. At the top where it says who and where im from it has a link there to adopting my indentity. You will find links to my other sites once you get there!

[wishihadabettername]

I'm just wondering what you're basing your claims on? you say this makes it harder for adoptees, are you speaking for all adoptees there? are you even an adoptee? you're doing precisely what you accuse this video of doing really.

if you find this point of view of adoption hard to deal with then I would suggest that you don't ever adopt.

[rachaelandchris0506]

Instead of spreading hate maybe you could find an organization and volunteer and make an effort to stop ILLEGAL adoptions worldwide.

Adoption can turn a bad situation into a good situation, why don't you take your bad situation and turn it into something good? Get back at the people who participated in your adoption by stopping others from doing the same thing.

[rachaelandchris0506]

Much2say1, I wish that you would think about what you have to say and realize that you are not the only adopted child in the world, you are not the only illegally adopted child in the world, and maybe you need to focus on ending ILLEGAL adoption, instead of spreading negative and incorrect messages about adoption. Adoption CAN be a positive thing, and MANY MANY people are happy about their adoptions (adoptees and adoptive parents alike).

[rachaelandchris0506]

In the US: Bioparents are given free counseling from the adoption agency and are given access to resources for grieving bioparents. Biomoms cannot be coerced or forced and no money can be exchanged in return for a child. US Agencies are 100% required to be nonprofit, and inspections are done regularly.

[rachaelandchris0506]

*Also in the US: Adoptive families have access to the ORIGINAL birth records! Before the adoption is finalized, adoptive parents can print forms online from their local Vital Records website, mail the forms in, and receive the original birth certificate with the bioparents' names on it. The adoption birth certificate with the adoptive parents' names is not available until after the adoption is final.

[rachaelandchris0506]

*Sad fact: Many adopted children are would-have-been aborted children. Justin Bieber was a child of rape. His biomother chose adoption. Other times, the biomom went into a free clinic for an abortion but for whatever reason, an abortion could not be performed (especially late-term). The only alternative for a family in poverty if an abortion cannot be performed is adoption.

[rachaelandchris0506]

* Bioparents in the US have the option of choosing adoptive parents who want an open adoption. Contact can be anything from email to phone calls to visits in person, as frequent or as infrequent as is comfortable.

[rachaelandchris0506]

* The only cause of a bioparent being forced to place for adoption is if the child has already been in foster care at least 5 YEARS (yes, the new legal minimum in most states--in other states it is 3). EVERY effort is made to reunite the foster child with some kind of safe relative--grandparent, aunt, etc. Bioparents are given many, many chances to become better parents, and the court is public.

[rachaelandchris0506]

*Adoptive parents undergo EXTENSIVE background checks for criminal record, child abuse record, even driver's license record is checked. They also undergo a physical and mental health exam, and their home is checked 3-5 times in person by a trained specialist for safety. Pets in the home are checked for health and safety.

A person who has qualified recently for adoption in the US has a VERY high chance of being mentally and physically able to care for a child.

[rachaelandchris0506]

I think the problem here is that half the commenters are from the UK and the other half are from the US. SO, to clear it up: In the *US*:

*Bio parents can pick the adoptive parents and meet them before the baby's birth

*Bio parents have the right to refuse, even 3 days or more after the birth, even after the baby is at the home of the adoptive parents, bio parents can change their minds.

Continued....

[petchharrison]

i was adopted in the 60,s i was told mum wont love you enless you behave or tell everyone what i was or i would be sent back to the babies home.no wonder my head is messed up.as a christian its ok to hurt but not to hate but this is no easy for us it take a lifetime...............jeff...­...48