How To Leave the White House

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Sure, you want to leave the White House with dignity. But you also want to leave with lots of free stuff -- and maybe leave a few surprises for the next guy or gal.

To complete this How-To you will need:

Sticky fingers
A sense of humor
Feelings of entitlement

Step 1: Sneak out a few valuables

Sneak out a few valuables. If you're caught, say you thought the stuff was given to you personally, as opposed to the country or White House.

Tip: If you really love an item, bribe the donor beforehand with a presidential appointment or pardon. That way, he won't make a fuss that his ottoman or whatnot was supposed to become a part of American history, not end up in your living room.

Step 2: Stock up on little stuff

Don't forget the little things — take a lifetime supply of presidential seal napkins and office supplies.

Step 3: Make your mark on the White House

Make your mark on the White House. Bring in carpenters to make the Oval Office square, and paint the Blue Room teal and the Green Room a restful seafoam.

Tip: Carve your initials under the Oval Office's historic Resolute desk.

Step 4: Leave fun surprises

Leave fun surprises for your successor. If you detest the person, have rolls of toilet paper printed with their face, and leave them in all the bathrooms. If you like your replacement, have rolls printed with the face of the person they defeated.

Step 5: Make your farewell note special

Make the obligatory handwritten note to your successor special by telling them everything you wish you'd known when you took office.

Step 6: Make a prank phone call

Call the "red phone" at 3 a.m. on the new president's first morning in office and say that the VP just staged a coup.

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Category:

Howto & Style

Tags:

• careers
• elect
• end
• government
• HotHowTos
• office
• political
• politician
• politics
• president
• vote

[iplehguitar]

lawl i bet george bush watched this

[catadeluxe]

lol, if we think... even presidents are humans like us.. so they don't care about history and sall that tuff, even if they convince you the opposite...

heh heh heh, I wonder if Obama will turn the White House into th Black House

lol, no racism or shit, just fun... hope I won't get in prinon for that :P

[TheHamsta101]

Who the fuck is crazy enough to risk stealing from the White House?!?

[ilovedegrassi72]

Why the Hell is this on here?

[MysteryX5]

this video is funny because next to it is a Barack Obama ad

[007chucknorris007]

@starscreamthe7th its Barack Obama, dumbass

[starscreamthe7th]

Step 1:

BE BROCK OBOMA

[TheOscar401]

ok when i said the video on how to survive on a magical deserted island was the stupidest, i was wrong THIS is the stupidest howcast video

[MegaJonas90]

is this on tv?

[Th4Pwnz0r]

This should be titled "How to be thrown into prison and/or aggressivly raped."

Wait...what?

[AsianGirlTV]

obama would be pissed.

[TheBigStupidHead]

"Mr. President! The Twin Towers have been attacked!"

"NOT NOW, WOMEN, I'M CHANGING THE TOILET PAPER!"