SMBC Theater - Wargames

SMBC imagines a new lesson for Wargames.

Created and Written by Zach Weiner and James Ashby
Co-Producers Angel Askins and Chason Chaffin
Alternate cut Directed and Edited by Jason Axinn

*Wargames property of United Artists / MGM - this version is PARODY*

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• Wargames
• matthew broderick
• hacking
• smbc theater
• eighties
• parody
• nuclear war
• nukes
• politics
• funny
• weird
• dark humor
• sketch comedy
• smbc

[gamerunknown]

Chess is boring. There's no story mode, the graphics suck and there hasn't been a content patch in like one thousand years.

Am I doing game theory right?

[jimbobmcgee1]

What's with all this 'middle square' bullshit? Corner square, bitches. Let Player 2 get excited and take middle square. Then you get the opposite corner. Confuses everyone once and, unless they truly know, they'll go all Reversi on this shit and try and get a corner for themselves. Instant block on the remaining corner, see them get out of that.

Or, they'll think they're wise and try to retaliate with a corner straight away. Instant fail as you take the rest of them.

Fuck 5-4 draws...

[TalksWithDirt]

@TheDrCN 80's supercomputers were like 1.2 Ghz desktop computers from 10 years ago.

[DeusExInfernus]

@TheDrCN Too bad, that could have been the most epic comment of all time, if you'd said T-800 instead...

[TheDrCN]

@DeusExInfernus Congrats, you've outsmarted an 80's supercomputer. Next challenge is outsmarting a TI-83.

[reluctable]

@minodragon You're playing The Game 1.0, you need to install the 1.5 patch.

In 1.0 you can lose if someone reminds you of it, but that is not in the true spirit of The Game. When played at its purest you should only be able to lose if it rises unbidden from your subconscious, because you saw that picture of dogs playing poker for example.

In 1.5 you do NOT lose if someone deliberately references The Game, you wait until you STOP thinking about it then you resume play as normal.

[MisterZimbabwe]

@MrHeyheyhey27 Can't teabag opponents, and there is no Right Trigger I can hold down for five seconds while 20 different bars go up CHESS SUUUUUUUUCKS. Get wth the TIMES man, it's all SKATEBOARDS and iPods now!

[minodragon]

@NexAngelus405 I just lost the game.

[NexAngelus405]

Indeed, the only truly unwinnable game is The Game. Wait a minute... DAMMIT, I LOST!

[gamerunknown]

@MrHeyheyhey27

Story mode as opposed to PvP, if it weren't bug free and it was a joke (parodying untenable criticisms of modern games, if you must press the point). Intellectual checkmate!

[MrHeyheyhey27]

@gamerunknown No, you're doing game DESIGN. And you're doing it wrong. Chess has a story: it is about simulating war; you build the story of the battle as you play. It is minimalist. There are no graphics, but that is not part of game design (unless you are thinking of art STYLE, not graphics quality). You don't need a patch, cause the game is bug-free. If it wasn't bug free, it would be bad that it wasn't supported, but a physical game is rarely buggy, so no patch.

[MoonshadowKati]

@INTPTT Yes. If you go first and take the corner, you cannot lose, only tie.