I need a paper (Holding out for a hero remix)

The so-long requested video showing the publishing drama experienced by PhD students to obtain their degree.
I need a paper lyrics
Where has all their reason gone
Gotta prove that It's not wrong
What's the problem with this guy?
I believe my results are strong
Isn't there a white knight, an unbiased referee
late at night I'm in my lab and I dream of what I need.

I need a Nature! I'm working hard for a Nature 'til the end of the night
it's gotta be great
and it's gotta be mine
It's the paper that everyone cites
I need a Science! I'll keep my faith in a Science 'til I run out of blood
It's gotta be soon
And its gotta be cool
And I'm gonna be cited like GOD
Cited like GOD

right after submission I can hear them mocking me
I've got a feeling that my peers are always making fun of me
Gotta forget about them, they cant see how much I bleed
Not even tough reviewers can keep me from what I need

I need a Nano! I'll send my paper to Nano they're a good second choice
I'm gonna be glad
Cos it's gonna be fast
Gotta see my h-factor increased.
I need good data! I keep acquiring my data 'til the morning light
it's gonna be right
and it's gonna be true
At this point I don't care if it's not
I need a paper! I need to publish a paper anywhere in the world

out there where people get their salaries paid
out there where weekends do exist
I could swear there is someone
somewhere
Screwing me

With the graphs
And the style
It's a pain!
Gotta cite
His review
It's gotta be done though it adds nothing new
Gotta cite his review but it adds nothing new

I need a paper! I've gotta publish this paper anywhere in the world
I could write in Chinese
or even Japanese
Gotta get me a damn PhD
I need a paper! I've gotta publish this paper anywhere in the world
I don't care where it goes
I don't care if it flies
My PhD will last longer than life
I need a paper! I've gotta publish this paper before the end of my life.

Category:

Science & Technology

Tags:

• need
• paper
• final

[homunculus84]

I would cite this work as being very relevant to my own, but am unsure of the authors to put in the citation.

[MrLuisupc]

@homunculus84 We're always pleased to be cited (and see our h-factor increased), so if you're really interested, send me an email or private message and I'll detail to you the list of stars that appear on such fantastic video! ;P

[ZaffireWolf]

The American lyrics version go something like: "I need to be in debt / I need to not get hired despite my degree".

[500manman]

omg i just tape this and they sucked!!!!!

[feriban]

Biologists cannot sing...

[Themorskoprase]

Amazing!!! So so so great! I miss you guys!!!! :D

[TheRedcruiser]

Awesome! 

[Vanessalr86]

Genial!! Por más que lo vea no dejo de reírme, jejeje