The Night Before Thanksgiving

By Julia Lillis!

http://www.nakedfanmail.com
http://twitter.com/julialillis
http://www.julialillis.com


THE NIGHT BEFORE THANKSGIVING

Theres this one day of the year,
Everyones full of holiday cheer,
And old friends go home and catch up over a beer

And on this special night
Whats usually wrong suddenly seems right
Cuz on the night before thanksgiving nothing counts.

The beer it flows like water
And the waters spiked with scotch
And the scotch is mixed with roofies
Is that someones penis in my crotch?

Ill make out with former high school flings.
No one cares about pesky wedding rings.
Cuz on the night before thanksgiving nothing count.s

Suck face sitting on the bar stool.
Make out in a bathroom stall.
Screw your math teacher from high school.
Its a real free for all.

Ill make out with another gal,
Im usually into guys but what the hell.
Cuz on the night before thanksgiving nothing counts.

So thank you to the pilgrims for landing on Plymouth rock that day.
And thank you to the Indians for not scaring them away (sorry about the small pox).
But that was a small price to pay,
For this annual drunken debaucherous soiree.

Its a night of drinking.
Its a night of booze.
Not a night for thinking.
Not a night for rules, or moderation or monogamy or condoms.

You can run with scissors.
You can snap your gum.
You can say the N word,
Just for fun. (I wouldnt actually try that one)

Turkey tastes better when youre hungover.
Besides, you dont to be the only one whos sober.
On the night before thanksgiving nothing counts.

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• thanksgiving
• drunk
• hook up
• comedy
• julia lillis
• song
• music
• turkey
• pilgrim
• indian
• night
• bar
• sex
• party
• musical comedy
• hilarious

[hopguy56]

Did anyone else think Bo Burnham? :)

[SpoonHurler]

"On the night before Thanksgiving, no means yes."

Hells yes. I mean no... I mean whichever one doesn't get me arrested.

[Aggedor1959]

That's Julia's smash-mouth comedy for ya!  Yea the bit about rape bothers me too but overall it's great.

[boyergirlmusic]

Hilarious, except for the rape bit.

[Session7Media]

Awesome!!!

[ErictheNybui]

That was a good one.

Keep them coming, Julia

[gangstakago]

Turkey tastes better when you're hung over! Thanks Julia! :D

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

[CouchSurfingOri]

I think you're my new best friend! :)

[markalanream]

You really get me

[ElRexican]

lolz!!!!11