Machete Movie Review -- Film Pigs Vlog #57

Nothing is fun anymore. Fun is over. Machete should have been amazing. It should not have been dull and slow-paced. It should not have featured the wretched act-bot that is Jessica Alba. The Film Pigs mourn the passing of fun. R.I.P. fun.

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• machete
• movie
• review
• film
• reviews
• robert
• rodriguez
• trejo
• mr
• black
• ebert
• filmpigs
• tits
• pigs
• stee
• skelton
• todd
• vagina

[droidguy1119]

@stoneskely I guess I didn't find any of MACHETE boring. Someone is always doing something in it that strikes me as funny or ridiculous.

[stoneskely]

@GoldenFlither15 Thank you! The others won't listen to me when I repeatedly tell them, "I'm pretty! I'm SO PRETTY!"

-Skelton

[stoneskely]

@droidguy1119 Like we said, we liked EXPENDABLES better than MACHETE was because EXPENDABLES crammed most of its boring stuff into one block in act 2, where MACHETE got mind-numbingly boring every 10 minutes. I guess we just prefer the dull stuff in large chunks. Easier to nap that way. (same for me with act 1 of HARRY BROWN).

The threesome scene may have been recycled footage, but you do see Lohan's boobs when she wakes up in the church. Unless those are incredibly realistic pasties.

-Skelton

[izwald1]

love the python reference

[MegaPhoenixBird]

Machete.

Rent the DVD.

End of message.

[droidguy1119]

Blah. How anyone with taste (like you guys usually display) could dislike MACHETE and SCOTT PILGRIM and like EXPENDABLES are beyond me. Especially fans of RAMBO. The drop in quality between EXPENDABLES and RAMBO is mind-boggling. Gah, HARRY BROWN, too. Caine's great, but the rest is a drag.

Lindsay Lohan's tits are not in this movie, by the way. It's the footage from the original GRINDHOUSE with clever editing.

However, you moving the camera = mind blown. And Stee is wise about PIRANHA.

[petefic26]

Wow no love for Scott Pilgrim? I thought it was great. I agree Micheal Cera does need to go away though. Keep em' coming Pigs, love your vlogs and commentaries.

[navebucketdude]

i loved scott pilgrim and so did everyone i know.

[theYAXreview]

3 guys and a girl , not suspicious at all!

Terry

[GoldenFlither15]

I had just made my decision to check this movie out after watching the Shmoes review not ten minutes ago. But I'll take your advice and wait for it to come out on Blu-ray then, or just not bother.

Listicle: Who are the most underrated movie critics? The Film Pigs.

Skelton, you're the other pretty one. ;)