Attachment Parenting- Not For Everyone

Guess what? Attachment Parenting Isnt' For EVERYONE. And that's okay... A description of Attachment Parenting vs. Attachment Theory. How they're not the same, although some would like them to be.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• Attachment parenting
• attachment theory
• mommy wars
• mom guilt
• therapy

[yrv980]

It seems to me that a happy median needs to be found when it come to parenting. Thx for the vid! It was very informative? :)

[KrystaDancy]

@yrv980 Thanks for commenting! I agree- a balanced approach is ideal! And each parents balance will look a little different. :)

[MrBuffalohorn]

It feels that your mark against AP has little to do with the concepts of AP and a lot to do with some of the more overzealous individuals who promote AP. Durring personal research into AP, it was made clear to me a number of times, by Dr. Sears and others, that the methods of AP are merely building blocks that promote the instinctual bonds already present between Mom and Baby. AP is about connecting with baby, not judgement of mommy's difficult agenda. Don't judge the book by its readers.

[KrystaDancy]

@MrBuffalohorn Thanks for commenting. Because AP belongs to no one specific, there will always be those who do not meet the criticism I pose. For those to whom it does not apply- then I happily do not apply it. :)

[AnOldOne29]

Thank you so much for this video. I'm not a very AP parent and sometimes it 'does' make you feel like you aren't being a 'good' mom or that you aren't bonding with your kids because you are 'supposed' to do these things.... This was a nice video to watch :)

[KrystaDancy]

@AnOldOne29 Thanks for commenting! I am glad you found it a relief. It sounds like you were my target audience (moms feeling not "good enough".) And it makes me smile to know that this eased your burden even a smidge.

[trilobright]

Parenting is personal, and when my wife and I need advice regarding our currently eight month old girl, we talk to friends and relatives who have had experience, and integrate that with what we learn everyday firsthand. I remember how weird and sad I found it when I first discovered these online communities of yuppie mothers trying to guilt trip everyone who doesn't follow a dumpster diver vegan diet while breastfeeding through age seven, doesn't use uncured flax thread diapers, etc.

[txvoltaire]

Is there someone vacuuming in the background?

[karaseen]

Attachment parenting is responding to your baby! You dont have to baby wear or even breast feed if for some reason you can't say a bad back or no milk supply, etc. But there is nothing wrong with pressuring mothers to do the very best they can to respond to their babies when they cry or need to be held. I find your video condescending towards AP. Responding to some of our babies needs is just not good enough! Imo it's damaging to leave an infant to cry for any reason.

[Shannindhall]

{continued} This video really helped me accepts some of the unexpected bumps along this road of motherhood & know that just because I can not breastfeed doesn't make me any less of a good mother.

[Shannindhall]

I really enjoyed watching this video. I would consider myself in sorts an AP parent, but resently due to health reasons I have had to weaned my daughter from breastfeeding & in turn I feel singled out of this "group" of mothers. By no means no woman has said anything personally to me, but it just "feels" like they have singled me out. {continued}

[SexLoveIntimacy]

How much research have you done into Attachment Parenting? Your commentary here appears to be more appropriate as a critique of how some zealots apply AP as opposed to a intelligent discussion regarding the tenets of the various attachment parenting styles. Can you cite references for these studies you feel "Attachment Parenting" has mis-used? That's a bold accusation for a licensed therapist to be making without taking time to back it up.

[KrystaDancy]

@breezycan Thanks for commenting. I actually (as I said) used some AP techniques personally and don't feel negatively about them at all. But to briefly run down the list of your points (character limits!) I would assert that 1. There is more than one way to respond sensitively. 2. Not all babies "transition to bottles" some start on them. 3. No baby has ALL their needs met. That is expecting a level of perfection that is not realistic and (I believe) causes more anxious mothering than it solves.