Growing up with alcoholic parents sucks, but there's light at the end... ACOA

I've spent some time online searching for blogs where people talk about the effects that growing up in an alcoholic home had on them, and there's not much. For this reason I've decided to record my own, as a venting tool I guess, maybe inspiring others to do the same. Growing up in that environment had its moments, and it's good to recal those shitty memories in determining how it has affected you as an adult.

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[makidtrej]

I am 24 years old now. My dad is an alcoholic. HOWEVER he stopped drinking when i was 4 years old (he went to A.A. meetings). Even though he quited 20 years ago, he has always acted as if he was still drinking. I can't stand alcohol because of it.

That aspect of my life completely ruined socialization i was an outcast and bullied because of it during college and highschool. Do you think despising booze is "normal" even for a ACOA?

[thanos222222]

@makidtrej

Thanks for your message mak... I believe that something forced you to put up a protective shell to avoid external problems, and your offensive behaviour turned a lot of people off, and they picked on you as a result. Try removing this shell, be honest with people, and let your guard down. This will resonate with people, and they'll understand your true self. Don't blame your dad, it's your future now not his, and you have to take ownership regardless of your history. Good luck :)

[thanos222222]

@thanos222222

Note Mak, that we have to look at ourselves first, when we evaluate the negatives that may be occurring in our lives. If people are turned off by you, then you obviously have to change something. People are simple, they get drawn to good people, and they dislike those who are not. Deep inside we are all good people, but the shell we develop as a defence mechanism sometimes masks our true self (without un knowing), and no matter what we do, people hate us. Remove your shell. :)

[sammyBBes]

And I cope by selfharm and bulimia/anorexia... :L

Its like I have got so much pain inside and I have got to cry but I cant, and I just cant think about my feelings. My teacher is worried im emotionaly numb, I got no hope for future, Im failing at grades, I just think im destined to turn out like my mum, and not live my life.

I dont know what to do anymore to be honest...

[thanos222222]

@sammyBBes

Sammy, i also suggest that you cry your ass off!!!!!!! If it's difficult, go to a quiet place, allow your mind to recall all the pain you experienced, and let it out please. Cry and cry until there's no more tears. Don't do stupid shit like cutting yourself and stuff, let the tears be the escape, and the healing with slowly begin. The fact that you're writing here, means that you won't be like your mom, and you're looking for change. :)

[sammyBBes]

Im 15 and my mums a alcholic, its so hard, in my household with two brothers im the odd one out, always get yelled at and punished. I want to live with my dad but he wont take me.

Every year for my birthday, new year , christmas ect is filled with fight, yelling and attempted suicide.The only place im happy is school funnily enough. I have got a great teacher for support and he is now getting social servaces involved. My mum doesnt know, and u dont know how selfish and bad I feel now...:/

[thanos222222]

@sammyBBes

Sammy, when it rains the sun always makes its way back out. I know that this sounds corny and stupid, but it's very true. Your pain is going to last for a few more years, there's no way to dodge the life that you're living, because even if you get social services involved, your mom is still going to be your mom at the end of the day. I just want you to know that she's sick, weak and doesn't know what she's doing. You'll understand more when you get older. Hang in there kiddo.

[BlackLabelSlushie]

@sofeta I used antabuse as well (the pill that makes u sick). My brother is a doc also recovering alcoholic. The hospital where he works forced him to take the pill IN FRONT of a hospital employee every day for a year. As shitty as that was it made all the difference. So my brother put me on the same regimene - my gf watches me take the pill. Crazy but it works. My brother is on top form now. PS your dad is lying about side effects u FEEL nothing from the pill (though long term can harm liver)

[BlackLabelSlushie]

@sofeta What age was your father when he started drinking alcoholically? So, he was NOT drinking alcoholically until fairly recently? This is what happened to me frankly. Till 35 was fine, drankl normally. Ironically it was not some trauma that got me drinking hardcore the opposite. Everuthing was going great so i was celebrating. Went completely beserk for 2 years - crashes, injuries, crazy stuff. After some false starts quit completely months ago and never going back

[PuppetMasters00]

Its inspiring that you took something positive from a horrible situation. I am 25 and my dad literally just phoned drunk to say 'Can you hear me,' and then silence until I hung up. Its 11.30am. He has always been an alcoholic, exactly as you described, the nicest man when sober, a nasty man when drunk. As Ive gotten older it's gotten worse. Since last June I have been harrassed with text messages and phonecalls calling me very name under the sun. I feel like my life won't start until he is gone.

[xxBXTxx]

@sammyBBes I guess all I can say is 2 find someone that u can talk to. Make sure it's someone that u can also trust.

[makidtrej]

@thanos222222 He, i think you got me wrong. What i meant was that while most of my classmates were drinking and doing drugs i would say no, they were pushers that didn't understand that no was no. I guess they thought i was being obnoxious and felt i was too good to hang out with them when in reality i didn't mean that. I have taken control of my life since i was 16 years old. I admit i still resent my father t