Uploaded on Jul 3, 2011
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Epic Rap Battles of History!
Epic Meal Time!
Listen up, haters! Throw down, let's go!
For your last meal, I'm serving up some mother****ing crow!
You can call yourself epic, but I own the word like a boss!
Gonna carve you to pieces and make you into meat sauce!
My lyrical style is so stupid, it's smart
Gonna deep fry your skinny ass and tear you apart
Cover you in Jack Daniels, and wrap you in bacon strips
Bacon strips, bacon strips, bacon strips, bacon strips!
I just said bacon strips five straight times
Next level rap skills, don't even need to make it rhyme
Next time, we eat the sweet taste of victory
Time's up, E.R.B, you about to be history
Why you still talking? Please! Quit wasting my time
Like Stephen Hawking, I'll give a brief history of rhyme
Control the force like Darth Vader, forbidden skills, verboten
Got bigger muscles than Hulk, Linda and even Brooke Hogan
And Lloyd Ahlquist, my follically-challenged partner in crime
Is tougher than Macho Man and Chuck Norris combined
You want beef? We'll barbeque your ass like ragin' cajun
Cuz we're hardcore heatscores, perma-burnt like Carl Sagan
You censor your words with the sound of a bird
What's the matter, bitch, afraid that your mommy mighta heard?
I don't give a fuck, you pathetic poutine eating Canuck
You'll need that free healthcare when your veins clog shut
I'm happy for your Canadian ass
At least in Canada, you can legally make an honest man of Muscles Glasses
Who won? Who's next? You decide!
Lil Deuce Deuce:
NOT THIS TIME!
The name is Lil Deuce Deuce, and I decide who won, mister!
I make your eardrums come harder than when I had sex with your sister!
My moral code is more flexible than a double-jointed stripper
That's why I stole your faces with my internet video ripper
Why should I bother making something original from scratch?
When I can steal somebody else's work and call it a mash-up
Who won? Who's next? You don't decide, I do
And I'm gonna give this round to yours truly, Lil Deuce
I don't actually care who won this battle of wits
I only put your names in the title so I could steal some cheap hits