Uploaded on Dec 18, 2009
A Virtual Hommage to the funniest movie of all times, made by Chantal Harvey (2009) after the original (1979) by the Monty Python's Flying Circus.
Mandy: Who are you?
Wise Man 1: We are three wise men.
Wise Man 2: We are astrologers. We have come from the East.
Mandy: Is this some kind of joke?
Wise Man 1: We wish to praise the infant.
Wise Man 2: We must pay homage to him.
Mandy: Homage!! You're all drunk you are. It's disgusting. Out, out!
Wise Man 3: No, no.
Mandy: Coming bursting in here first thing in the morning with some tale about Oriental fortune tellers... get out!
Wise Man 1: No. No we must see him.
Mandy: Go and praise someone else's brat, go on.
Wise Man 2: We were led by a star.
Mandy: Led by a bottle, more like. Get out!
Wise Man 2: We must see him. We have brought presents.
Wise Man 1: Gold, frankincense, myrrh.
(her attitude changes immediately)
Mandy: Well, why didn't you say so? He's over here...Sorry this place is a bit of a mess. What is myrrh, anyway?
Wise Man 3: It is a valuable balm.
Mandy: A balm, what are you giving him a balm for? It might bite him.
Wise Man 3: What?
Mandy: It's a dangerous animal. Quick, throw it in the trough.
Wise Man 3: No it isn't.
Mandy: Yes it is.
Wise Man 3: No, no, it is an ointment.
Mandy: An ointment?
Wise Man 3: Look.
Mandy: (sampling the ointment with a grubby finger) Oh. There is an animal called a balm or did I dream it? You astrologers, eh? Well, what's he then?
Wise Man 2: H'm?
Mandy: What star sign is he?
Wise Man 2: Capricorn.
Mandy: Capricorn, eh, what are they like?
Wise Man 2: He is the son of God, our Messiah.
Wise Man 1: King of the Jews.
Mandy: And that's Capricorn, is it?
Wise Man 3: No, no, that's just him.
Mandy: Oh, I was going to say, otherwise there'd be a lot of them.
(The Wise Men are on their knees)
Wise Man 2: By what name are you calling him?
(Dramatic Holy music)
Three Wise Men: We worship you, Oh, Brian, who are Lord over us all. Praise unto you, Brian and to the Lord our Father. Amen.
Mandy: Do you do a lot of this, then?
Wise Man 1: What?
Mandy: This praising.
Wise Man 1: No, no, no.
Mandy: Oh! Well, if you're dropping by again do pop in. (they take the hint and rise) And thanks a lot for the gold and frankincense but...don't worry too much about the myrrh next time. Thank you...Goodbye. (to Brian) Well, weren't they nice...out of their bloody minds, but still...
In the background we see the Wise Men pause outside another door
as a gentle glow suffuses them. They look at each other, confer
and then stride back in and grab the presents from Mandy and turn
to go again, pushing Mandy over.
Mandy: Here, here, that's mine, you just gave me that. Oh! Shut up!