Social Anxiety: 3/3 Why improving social skills is not the answer

Watch 1 of 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLzmUDmQLOM

I explain why improving your social skills is not the answer to overcoming Social Phobia or social anxiety. There is a related article on my blog http://www.socialanxiety.co.uk/blog/improving-social-skills

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• Improving
• Improve
• Social Skills
• Anxiety
• Phobia
• Overcome

[JCortexEffect]

I love you

thank you so much I hope I can get this fixed before its too late.

would you recommend St Johns Wort ?

its a over the counter pill that is made from a herb

I'm just wondering if anyone has tried this and what was the outcome of it?

Thank you very much :)

[socialanxietyvideo]

@JCortexEffect I am familiar with it but have never tried it myself. People who try it sometimes seem to feel a bit better, but often the difference is fairly subtle and therefore I would encourage you to persist with psychological methods which can lead to significant and lasting changes. If you do take it be careful about drug interactions. Although 'herbal', it is still a drug and can cause problems if taken with certain prescription medications.

[Joeygirl25]

so how then do you get confident?!?!?

[socialanxietyvideo]

@Joeygirl25 Thanks for watching the video. I'll be making some more soon that will briefly answer your question.

[philochristos]

That was very interesting. You described me so accurately (especially in the first part) that it's almost as if you've been spying on me or reading my journal. I have been attributing some of my social anxiety to my lack of social skills, and I have "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie as well as "How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends" by Don Gabor. Neither have been helpful. But I've also got books on social anxiety and cognitive therapy that haven't helped.

[socialanxietyvideo]

@philochristos I promise I've not been spying on you :-) Self-help isn't for everyone and you might find you get on better with Cognitive Therapy (CT) with a therapist. CT isn't for everyone but I believe it's along the right lines and with a bit of development it can suit most people. Part of my interests involve developing therapies for social phobia and there is definitely room for improvement with CT. The basics are there though.

[3rdWorldChildren]

u probalby helped me change my whole life in these 3 videos, thank you so much!

[0flauta0]

I feel like watching these has been absolutely revelatory for me. At times you were even describing things using the same phrasing I've used to talk with other people about this. I shouldn't feel excited about potentially having social anxiety disorder, but I absolutely am because this explains so many things about myself that I've not understood and been frustrated with for my entire life. I feel motivated to find the right kind of solutions. Thank you so much!

[kwaxkwax]

Hi =]..i am another that is in that boat(the more personal, the more universal)

I havebeen reading Eckart tolle the power of now and Ive listened to David deangelo's materials..he's more recent work(deep inner game,how to become mr right). Not his past work(which he admits was wrong). But I have been abit procastinating in putting david deangelos teachings to to practice.

Eckart tolle calms me down and brings me peace but as you said..the problem is still there.

[FartyBeard]

(continued)

Meditation has also been incredibly helpful for stress reduction, but it isn't a cure for social phobia.

Anyway, I'll be starting group therapy for SA in a month. I'm 25 now and want to go to University.

Good luck to everyone struggling with Anxiety/Depression!

[FartyBeard]

Thanks for making this video. I felt astonished that parts 1 and 2 seemed to describe my life entirely. I never thought there were people who REALLY knew what it was like to go through this, right down to the smallest detail.

I've tried a self help course called "Overcoming Social Anxiety," and stopped about halfway through, and am now reading "Feeling Good" by David Burns and finding it incredibly helpful. I'd highly recommend this book to people struggling with depression/procrastination.

[svartsaft]

@socialanxietyvideo have u made that video yet? =)

[emohatred]

I've tried a book called changing limited beliefs - unfortunately it hasn't worked. Iv'e tried a bit of hypnotherapy also and that hasn't worked :/

[GrimmTeather]

You explained that really clearly and I think this is the first video or the first time I've seen it explained that way. Most of the time I'm thinking of how I should be different, how I should speak differently or change the way I word things, my posture... basically, trying to be more like someone else or trying to fit a certain description of 'confidence'. You did well. Thanks a lot :D

[cibosity]

S watched 1 through 3 and founs that every thinh that you described matches all of the sitiations I go through. I've been working on being more social for a while and have always felt frustrated that my social skills were lacking but after watching your videos I realize that I have fairly good social skills and personality, but my anxiety causes me to loose control. How do I get past this anxiety so that I can establish relationships?