the paradox of nothing: Annie

IN THE LAND OF THE PLACE WHERE DODOES STILL RESIDE.... THERE WAS A PARTICULAR DODO WHO...REBELLED AGAINST THE CONFINES OF HIS STAUNCHLY DODISH SOCIETY. "FARWELL, I WILL MISS YOU ALL TERRIBLY." HE SAID THIS. BUT HE DID NOT MEAN IT. WHAT HE REALLY MEANT WAS, "FUCK YOU ALL. I HOPE YOU DIE IN A CATASTROPHE WITH LOTS OF FIRE AND BAD ODORS." HE DID NOT SAY TIS THOUGH, BECAUSE HE HAD AN ASTUTE SENSE OF DECORUM. BUT IT CERTAINLY GIVES YOU A SENSE OF HOW TRULY LURID THAT SOCIETY WAS.

AND SO, OUR HERO SET OFF ON A COURSE FOR THE LAND OF THE PLSCE WHERE THE DODOS DID NOT RESIDE ANY LONGER, HOPING IT WOULD BE NICER THERE. IT WAS NOT. BUT THAT'S FOR LATER.

THE WIND STREAMED THROUGH HIS FEATHERS AS HE HOPPED ALONG INEFFECTIVELY ATTEMPTING HALF-FLIGHT (THOUGH AS YOU PROBABLY KNOW, DODOES HAVE SOMEWHAT OF AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM ABOUT THEIR FLIGHT HABITS) THE GREAT DIVIDE BETWEEN HIS LAND AND THE LAND OF THE UNKNOWN. WHILE ATTEMPTING TO MUSTER UP TO COURAGE TO CROSS FINALLY INTO THAT UNKNOWN HE COMES ALONG A STRANGELY COLOURFUL AND KIND CREATURE ATTEMPTING TO EAT FROM A STRANGE PLANT.

"HULLLLOOO THERE FRIEND!" HE FLAPS A FRIENDLY WING. THERE IS NO RESPONSE FROM THE CREATURE. IFFISUS—IFFY FOR SHORT—INADVERTENTLY EXAMINED THE CREATURE AS HE APPROACHED. IT HAD HUGE SPIKY HEELS AND BUSHY WAVY HAIRS—EACH ONE MOVING IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION LIKE A HORRIBLY MISHAPPEN FEATHER. IT WAS COVERED IN SOME VISCOUS FLUID-LIKE SUBSTANCE AND AS IT ATE THE "FOOD" BEGAN TO CREATE A NEW LAYER OF COVER FOR THE THING. IFFY DIDN'T LIKE IT. WHAT HE HOPED WOULD TURN OT TO BE A NEW FRIEND, INSTEAD TURNED OUT TO BE A GIANT CONGLOMERATION OF FRUIT-INDUCED COLORED SNOT. HE TURNED RAPIDLY TO TRAVEL IN THE OTHER DIRECTION ALONG THE GREAT DIVIDE.

"SNARFLSLDJFIEAHA;AHAGBADFHKAFH!" THE THING SEEMED TO SHOUT FROM AN ORAPHUS IFFY WAS UNFAMILIAR WITH. IFFY PRETENDED NOT TO HEAR THE THING BUT AS THEY WERE THE ONLY TWO LIVING THINGS ON THAT PATCH OF LAND, HE KNEW THE THING WOULD HAVE A HARD TIME BELIEVING HE HADN'T HEARD IT. HE SMILED POLIETLY AROUND HIS BEAK, BRACED HIMSELF AND TURNED AROUND POLITELY.

THE COLORFUL THING SQUALKED AGAIN, AND IFFY FLINCHED. IT WAS A HORRIBLE NOISE. IFFY DID NOT KNOW HOW TO PROCEED.
AND BEFORE HE HAD TIME TO THINK—"ALDKHIONEOIVHD;AISDHFPIEWHA;SKDHFAF!!!!" NERVOUSLY, HE TRIED TO COMPOSE HIMSELF AS TO NOT FURTHER FRUSTRATE THE THING.
"UM." IFFY CLEARED HIS THROAT BIDING HIS TIME WHILE HE WAITED FOR HIS BRAIN TO CATCH UP TO THE SITUATION. HE WAS BEGINNING TO THINK IT WAS OFF TO TEA WHEN THE THING SNARFLED YET AGAIN THIS TIME IN THE MOST CROTCHEDY IT COULD MUSTER.

Category:

Comedy

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• ashleigh
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[cheetacub272]

I adore you guys <3

And great editing!