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If You're Not Buying Cigarettes, then WHAT KIND OF CITIZEN Are You?

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Published on May 27, 2012

If you're not buying cigarettes, then what kind of citizen ARE you?
The children's health care program CHIPRA utterly depends on cigarette taxation. Too few cigarette sales and the program's in trouble. Instead of shaming smokers with exile each time they light up, we should admit they deserve special thanks. (And, given nicotine's scientifically verified benefit to certain individuals' successful daily functioning, our most charitable act for many of the less fortunate might be gifting cigarettes to them.) If you're not buying cigarettes, then what kind of citizen ARE you?
Verse 1:
No, you can't bum a cigarette
But, I'll sell ya one
That's gonna be forty cents
I need the mon'
I need four & a half cents for the re-hab groups
And twelve for the pensions trust
We need two point five for surveillance tech' now
There's violators to bust
My supplier kept him a penny, so I'm keepin' one for my fuss
That leaves the other nineteen for the nanny state taking such good care of us!
CHOUS:
Oh, what a soldier has to do to have a smoke! It really is a pity
Yeah, in the P.O.W. camp they made of the city
A smoker's choice, p-lain as can be
It's either exile or captivity
And those actuarial tables, the better for us all if there's a proper skew
So if you're not buying cigarettes then what kind of citizen are you?
Vs.2.
You don't just light up a cigarette
But, it can be done
In the big house or the Big Apple
They make exceptions for some
Tell them you've got the license to fuss and fume
And children's healthcare is riding on you
If it rides on the air in a cigarette plume now,
Ain't that the least you can do?
And ah, you can keep your peace with the system, you let the system have a piece of you
And you laugh at the joke if you wanta have a smoke, well it's some kind of exile you choose! © 2012

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