Genpo Roshi On Resistance From Family Members

http://www.bigmind.org/Home.html Genpo Roshi discusses his experience with the resistance he met from his family upon entering Zen practice in a Thursday evening class in Salt Lake City.

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[pgod45]

@MomentsGap I agree with what BayviewFinch said too, but on the other side it's ok to not like your father and mother separating yourself with compassionate judgements too. Keeping yourself open to the influences of depression and character assassinations is not skillful-means IMHO. It must hurt terribly but give yourself the space (using said judgements) to turn in to that pain with concentration and equanimity and discover its wisdom and your limits. This is what has worked for me with my Mom.

[pgod45]

I love Genpo in general. Yet in this response I felt an unwillingness to go to the "their wrong" potentiality when it deserved it at least some IMO. It seems to set up for passive allowing of abuse by the family, if that's an issue. I can deeply feel that anything other than accepting Jesus to my family is a disgrace, and I suppose I do preach unfortunately hoping they'll see my side. Yet at the very least I think setting boundaries is in order.

[biocybernaut]

I feel like I want to tell my family to go to hell, big time, and worse.

[BayviewFinch]

@MomentsGap - You're talking about circumstances and giving them a lot of power. Paraphrasing the Course in Miracles, the world has no power of its own. It's only an effect. Most spiritual teachers also say that "what happens" cannot effect us, it's only our reaction which does. You might want to check out Eckhart Tolle or even Abraham Hicks if this Big Mind thing isn't doing anything for you. Maybe even "The Secret." EVERYone's been through shit with their family. So what?

[MomentsGap]

"if i let you down, why do you even bother?"

that still echoes in me , said by my father, just another expression of one sort of rejection or inability to include.

im so sad

[MomentsGap]

i actually wish they would express an opinion. (my family). but its all a stance of helplessless which is infectious. practically leaving to our own devices. my younger brother had more luck in finding alternative people that welcomed him. i am still looking and i feel terribly unloved.

[MomentsGap]

where to begin I dont know.

the refusal of my dad to share the grieving after my mother (his wife) died of sudden, dementia-causing brain cancer. he then wrote my name on the tombstone. when I asked him to remove it,he used his usual stubborness and refused. only after 10 years he obliged. this is just the tip of the iceberg. please help me

[MomentsGap]

brought up a lot of stuff :-(

[biocybernaut]

genpo, this is what I needed to hear right now, genius! thanks for that!