30 Something Jokes

It was late one night, So I wanted to see if I could come up with 50 original jokes.
I think I made it to at least 35.
I think all but two are mine.


1. What did one banana say to the other banana?
Nothing, they don't talk!
2.What did the butter say to the margarine?
OH MY GOD I can't believe it's not me!
3. What happened when red made love to yellow?
Orange
4. What happened when purple made love to green?
An Abortion
5.What happened when a hippo made love to a unicorn?
A rhino
6.What happened when a unicorn made love to an atheist?
Nothing, Atheists don't exist.
7. How did the Asian respond when he got caught cheating on his girlfriend?
Sorry you all look the same to me.
8.How many asian people does it take to change a light bulb?
1! What are you a racist??
9.How many Ninjas did it take to screw in a light bulb?
None.....
10.What happened when a shark took off your face?
He became John Travolta
11. Whats better than being a shark?
Being chuck Norris
12. How do you know if your awesome?
If you are a shark or Chuck Norris
13Why did the blonde put roofies in her own drink?
She wanted to masturbate
14.How did the blonde repent her sins?
She douched with holy water
15. Why does the blonde love playing with fire
"because like OMG shes a total kleptomaniac
16.What does the new age guy say when he's caught staring at boobs
"Sorry, I was just noticing your heart chakra"
17.What does the mute guy say when he gets caught staring at boobs?
Nothing
18..What did the deaf, blind, one legged boy get for his birthday?
A scooter
19. Who would throw away a perfectly good scooter?
Someone who's tired of being called a faggot.
20. Who would throw away a perfectly good sandwhich
An idiot
21. What happens when you fart in corners
It smells
22. What did the creepy guy say to the waitress?
I bet I can run faster horny than you can scared....
23. What did the creepy guy say in his defence?
I don't rape women, I seduce them with threats of death
24. What did the narcissist say when someone ran into him?
Hey! Watch where I'm going
25. How did he know it was fate?
His alphabet cereal spelt "hgsjdhkdf"
26. How did he get the girl of his dreams?
they shared common interests
And he drugged her
27.What did jesus say at the apocalypse?
Hey, Im drunk
28. Whats worse than food in your hair?
Cancer
29. What do you get when you put a 100 monkeys in your kitchen?
Shakespeare
30. When is it ok for a woman to leave the kitchen?
never
34. What did K-fed say when the police pulled him over?
Its because Im a white privileged male isn't it?
35. Why did K-fed go to jail?
To get anal
31. Why did the man drop the soap in jail
To get anal
33. Do you know how to sew?
Because I'm ripped!
35.What did the purple cow say to the fence post
There is no such thing as a purple cow you idiot
36. Why was the beaten hooker hobbling down a road
Because I forgot to lock the trunk
32.Why is it better to go to jail than get married?
In jail you get anal

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• somthing
• jokes
• kaitlyn
• bridge
• 50
• fast
• funny
• video
• response

[JuniorlikesTechno]

your cute af:]

[BlackPawLethium]

fucking ugly, jokes on you..

[TroelsRohde]

@TroelsRohde Also... that also proves I watch it alll... gah, the joke is on me then ;)

[TroelsRohde]

Hey at least the "I am going to get alot of hate mail" totally made me laugh ;P

[TroelsRohde]

@2011LOLvids uncalled for

[2011LOLvids]

You are one ugly bitch you must be a emo you make me sick your teeth are black

[Galixea]

I think I'm in love with you . . . .

Oh, and remember to lock the trunk next time.

[ajholtz18]

@hussien2632 your spelling is a joke

[hussien2632]

@MustBeFiend your so right i spell like like whatever but i did spell most of my comment wrong sorry hey did i put that comment oh my god what am i doing i was sleepy sorry i said har not hair that was so stupid from me i have to stop being stupid every time i get sleepy

[MustBeFiend]

@hussien2632 Spellcheck. nah fuck that.