Things We've Handed Down

A Family Tree? The words written along with colorful pictures and video is to leave an impression on the mind of it's audience. It has every indication of my reality but it is my effort and hope that it touches on some of your realities as well. Its my constant effort that all the problems I address are named as well as solutions. If I can write in such a way that is equally familar to you, I can draw provoking thoughts out of you that help you in your own life. It is like an art to me when I select illustrative material for these videos. Yet it means nothing if my audience does not learn something about themselves in our exchanges.

Laying my head down every night has always been a time of deep thought. Waking up now almost 45 years with just as much depth. How then could I find myself struggling in the shallowness of relationships with those I care about?

The answer I have concluded is communication ... being both the problem and solution. There are loud and resounding traditions in my family. They are not the kind of warm and fuzzy traditions that have the youngest putting the last ornament on our family christmas tree or the clam chowder for New Years eve. The definition of traditions that I speak of here is the handing down of statements, beliefs, information, etc., from generation to generation, especially by word of mouth or by practice: A story that has come down to us by our family's expressions. A long-established or inherited way of thinking or acting.

If I were to include the history of many traditions that were handed down, they would have to include addictions of all types, (drug, alcohol, sex,) as well as physical and emotional abuse. Not exactly the kind of stuff that gives you the warm fuzzies. Feeling the roots of a traditional way of thinking that overwhelm me and more often leave me feeling insecure.

As I have been becoming more and more secure within the confines of my relationship with Louis I realize that this feeling of security is new to me. The security of knowing someone is there fighting in your corner for a lifetime. The safety of knowing that someone else is determining and looking out for your needs and being sure to help you meet them no matter the energy and effort it may take. It is only since I have been with Louis that I can articulate to you that the first structural support for a meaningful relationship is found in one word: A word that I intend to start as a new tradition in me and my childrens lives ~ SECURITY ~

So then this being true ... insecurity would be our enemy! Any one that would feed an insecurity to suit some selfish gain on their part will be fought off with great force. I am taking a strong stance on a new inherited way of thinking or acting within my home. Which means the members of my home can not participate in anything that will make another member of the family feel insecure. I have zero tolerance for it in others or myself. Pulling it out at the roots!

Love at it's roots, is a decision, not a feeling. One of the most loving things anyone can do for another is decide to plant security into their relationship with the other person. In this relationship this security has included Louis and I being fully committed to the TRUTH and being open to correction. Feelings of helplessness and fear smash against the pillar of security and break into a million pieces. The weeds that meant to harm the relationship are yanked out by their roots!

I have had a quiet dream, and today it is planted in Louis and the security I feel in this relationship. Dreams and love are much like unplanted saplings. Alive with the potential for magnificent growth, their roots wait for nourishment.

We admire dreams and love in our minds, photograph them with our hearts, and fail to nourish them with the first requirement of all dreams realized. That is, we must get them out and into the soil of our daily lives; we must plant with the expectation for growth.

Like a tiny oak, a great dream will often have the potential to grow and thrive long past our own life spans. Yet, it needs more than our admiration and good intentions; it needs our hearts to cherish it and our hands to get it growing.

We come to realize that there will always be winds to strengthen us; there will always be pain to teach us to heal and forgive. We understand that the storms force our roots deeper into the ground. Like oaks sprouting new leaves, we are all in the process of creation and growth. It is a law of life and an unavoidable life lesson. A sapling will grow stronger amidst the winds, and it will grow to its fullest potential; English novelist, George Eliot, wrote, "The strongest principle of growth lies in the human choice".

In choosing, we can grow as tall as our potential allows, reaching as high as our Creator intended, bringing the legacy of our gifts to future generations.

This family member wants to break with tradition!

Category:

Music

Tags:

• inheritance
• traditions
• family
• dysfunction
• abuse
• divorce
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