Da Two Towas LOTR Rap Featuring Spike Durden

Part two of my epic rap trilogy. Lyrics below:

Yo, da two towas, da two towas
Nasty hobbitses, nasty hobbitses
Select, respect

Through Emyn Muil, Frodo and Sam went
They fell down some rocks and Frodo's dick got bent
They got so damn lost Sam said "where do we go?"
Good thing they caught they little sneaky bitch smeagol
Went through the marshes, man it smells like shit
Is the marshes or Gollum? They didn't know which, bitch
They got to the black gates, couldn't get through
But Smeagol said, Man he know what to do
Meanwhile Strider and friends hunted orcs for a while
The dwarf bitch got tired, running ain't his style
They followed the hobbits all the way to Fangorn
They knew it was that way cause they found Pippin's porn
In Fangorn was gandalf, the pimp player's alive
He said the hobbits are safe, so they did a pimp jive
Gandalf knew what be down, so they went to Rohan
They had to summon and army to counter Saruman
Merry and Pippin rode on Treebeard's back
To meet Treebeard's friends, to see if the hobbits were black
They went south a ways to get to the Ent Mooty
Pippin was hella excited to get some tree pooty
After two damn days the ents decided they're mad
Their friends got cut down by Saruman
They were hasty for ents, they had to march pretty far
So they could release their fury and fuck up Isengard
Strider and friends were stuck up in Helm's Deep
Eowyn had some plan to fuck him in his sleep
Look to me at the first light of the fifth day
Said Gandalf as that player and Shadowfax rode away

Eomer and Eowyn, the new friends, when's it gonna end?
Sauron's bullshit where it began.
Saruman, what's his plan?
He forgot about the ents, made them mad, sent his bitches to another land.
Told them to defeat Theoden doesn't think he's gonna win, has to battle them has to drive them from the deep, and put them all to sleep.
Theoden has to win freedom back for the Rohan.

Frodo and Sam got in too many friends
Cause Frodo trusted Gollum and Sam don't think it's right
Frodo said, "Gamgee, what the fuck you want?"
Sam goes, "Bitch, I wanna see an Oliphaunt"
At the Forest Ithilien Sam's wish came true,
He saw Arabs on Oliphaunts and black people too
But the rangers of Gondor killed all my homies
The hobbit watched it all while eating some conies
They were all taken captive by Faramir
Sam's first impression was this dudes kinda queer
They were taken to a hideout behind water fallin'
Where they were chillin out, maxin, relaxin and ballin
What they gonna do, where the ring gonna go?
Is Faramir gonna steal it or release Frodo?
His father's a bitch but he just wants to please him
Faramir's a good man but the ring wants to seize him

Helm's Deep was in seige by Uruk-hai
Men readied for battle, women and children said bye
They had swords, spears and axes, bows arrows what?
But Legolas said "Strider, mang we're fucked in the butt!"
The orcs charged the wall, 2,000 arrows flew
But the Uruks were armored what's that shit gonna do?
They all fought real hard, and it looked like death neared them
But Gandalf appeared, along with all the rohirrim
The Uruks got slaughtered by thousands of horseman
They had nowhere to run, so they fled to the woods then
But the trees were pissed off, they killed the orcs that fled
This shit ain't over, there's more to come, Gandalf said

The ents flooded Isengard, Saruman was fucked
He watched in terror while rubbin his butt
It hurts don't it bitch? The white wizards no more
Now he's just a little powerless old man ho
So Merry and Pippin had done a good deed
They celebrated victory by smokin some weed
Life's good for now, grab your pipe and some beer
And get crunk tonight, cause the end is near

We got Faramir, he's the brother of the Borormir
And he had to hear, that the ring would destroy everything thats dear, so he let them go, Frodo Samwise and Smeagol
But where they gonna go? Up the steps of Cirith Ungol right next to the tower of Minas Morgul

They gotta fly or they'll all die why do they even try? Why ain't the ring on their side?
Dominates the weak mind, it's aligned with the dark lord of lies who forged the ring double time, bye bye.

They gotta fly or they'll all die why do they even try? Why ain't the ring on their side?
Dominates the weak mind, it's aligned with the dark lord of lies who forged the ring double time, bye bye.

Category:

Music

Tags:

• the
• two
• towers
• towas
• lord
• rings
• hobbits
• rap
• hip
• hop
• ratatat
• music

[rayneslash100]

So... where's the Return of the King. You said you had all three parts written. Could you send me the lyrics? I really like this and I can't concentrate on them properly when I'm listening

[spikedurden]

The Return of the King is written, and I'm actually working on the video right now. It should be up within a week. I can send you the lyrics, no problem. I'm glad you like them!!

[blueIrellik]

I thought this is pretty cool and very creative

[shadowvamp13]

xD dude, fuck yeah

[natespawn]

lol, brill

[eoislove1]

This is total genius :D

[ADevilFromHeaven]

First time I come across a rap version of LOTR. And I like it! HahaXD

[FreakinDavid]

Unbelievable! A question is written with a f*cking question mark! God!

[duck185]

24 karat gold man

[chickenmadness1]

well good ; )

[OptimusAlex]

this shit is tight.

[chickenmadness1]

:O cool : )

[chickenmadness1]

why is that other comment spam XD its true