The Gangsters Picnic

I got mugged last week at knife point in Camden, London. It inspired me to present this adaptation of a well know kids classic The Teddy Bear's Picnic.

If you go out on the streets tonight you better be beware
Kids in gangs with knives and guns are lurking everywhere
They'll stab you up and bottle your head
Nick your phone and leave you for dead
Nowadays the kiddies take their pick what they nick

They're on the corners of streets with alco-pops and belligerence in their eyes
Determinedly turning Britain's streets into lord of the flies
With their Nikey shoes and perplexing bent
To emulate 50 Cent
Nowadays the kiddies take their pick what they nick


It's a free for all for kiddywinks
The middle classes are in for a big surprise today
They'll watch you and catch you unawares
While oblivious you go about your day
And it's the second time they've robbed you mate
They've already had you once through the welfare state
And at 11 o'clock their mums and dads will help them go through the spoils of the day
And sell it all on ebay

Rap lyrics and bad parenting could be to blame for it all
But ultimate responsibility must lie with the individual
And 10 long years of Tony Blair
Trying to make our lives to fair
And nowadays the kiddies take their pick what they nick

Globalisation means that social mobility is in decline
Just compare where you are now to when your parents were in their prime
The chances are they were married had you
A drive of sports cars and owned a house too
Nowadays if you want it you've got to nick it.



Key Words

asbo hoodies schemies chavs scallies chavscum E4 bunker scum yobs scrotes gangs charvers Manchester scallies ryan florence david cameron Wythenshawe benchill mad dogs thugs west side gangsta nigahiga yabo how to be gangster

Category:

Education

Tags:

• asbo
• hoodies
• schemies
• chavs
• scallies
• chavscum
• E4
• bunker
• scum
• yobs
• scrotes
• gangs
• charvers
• muggers
• phone
• jack

[prettypuzzler]

I'm sorry about the mugging, Olly, what twats! Can I say twat if I'm an American? lol. Well at least you can laugh about it now. Teddybears' picnic always creeped me out so at least now the tune seems more accurate.

(:

[OllyTheOctopus]

Isn't it true, that song freaked me out when I was a wee boy!

X

[xianning]

this is such an awesome song Olly!!,

ps. i'm sorry you got mugged...life isn't fair... my house got broken into last january...I can't say it was any worse...thieves stole over 5 grand worth of stuff...insurance only paid 500 bucks........

[OllyTheOctopus]

the world is being overrun by feral children... since world war 2 youth crime has risen by over 10 times!

Thanks dude, glad you enjoyed it!

Olly

x

[ismite123]

over here we call them african americans

[OllyTheOctopus]

no racists please

[16yellow16]

i gotta b honest bruv, im from camden n afta hearing u sing this, it probably wont be the last time u get robbed round here.

[WEISSKRAFT]

@ismite123 that's not racist, it's true, lol well all do I'm only trying to say you're gang-related too bitch (ABK and ICP) I had to steal my lunch today. been trying to get a Job it's fuckin difficult tho., I live In Australia.

[darkendelve]

This is brilliant!

[LovePoliceZimbabwe]

you probably got mugged because you were trying to buy weed and you look like a pussy plus you support cveitch who is re-assuring the feral youth so you deserved it asshole.

[lollylou22]

this has given me a giggle at this silly hour of the morning just as I can hear the local feral children kicking off somewhere nearby, just hope it's not my car getting it again

[ironmanalasdair]

haha at least they're not using needles yet.

[sdp2010uk]

Fair enuf u had the balls to do this song an show the wotld, so why the f@?k did u not have the balls to stand up for urself? Shit ur now a walkin advertisment wiv "mug me, im the stupid tw@t on YouTube who tried to show my muggers u cant keep me down cos i'll make a song about youths today"... Ive carried an used a knife before but not anymore, if u cant do ur damage wiv ur fists, then dont do it in the 1st place

[NewEnglishRevolution]

@adamlavv No kid just no you're only making it worse.

[tanner1ie]

I'll be the one laughing when they get you, like in the Steve Martin film, LA Story, we see people cueing for an ATM, then robbers cueing to rob them.

When it's Steve's turn, the robber - "Hi, my name is Bob and i'll be your robber."

[tanner1ie]

Still my favourite song, from you :) .