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http://www.thehammer.ca/content/view.php?news=2005-01-27-stephen-harper-polygamy
Conservative leader Stephen Harper made a bold political statement last weekend by marrying two women in a simultaneous civil ceremony.
In addition to Laureen Harper, his wife of the past 10 years, the leader of the opposition is now married to 34-year-old legal secretary Elsa Longenhurden of Ottawa and 30-year-old Elaine Nabob of Pickle Lake, Ont.
Harper made his second and third marriages public yesterday at a press conference in Ottawa, where he introduced brides number two and three to the national media.
"They're quite the lookers, eh? And, much more low mileage than the first wife!" exclaimed Harper, who then winked and made the universally recognized 'click click' sound out of the corner of his mouth. "What a wedding night! I'm still recovering!
"One wife can't possibly fulfill all of my needs," he continued. "Plus, it's gonna be great having an extra couple of broads around the house to help Laureen with the cookin' and cleaning and looking after the kids and all that other woman stuff."
According to Harper, his first wife, Laureen, wasn't in attendance at the press conference because she was "back home, fixin' up dinner."
The timing of the Conservative boss's new marriages-coming just days after Harper raised polygamy as a side effect of the 'slippery slope' ramifications of legalizing gay marriage-left some reporters wondering if Harper's adoption of the polygamous lifestyle is a provocation to the federal government to legalize polygamy under the Charter of Rights and Freedoms.
"Damn straight it's a challenge!" boasted Harper. "Come and get me, feds! If the gays can marry each other, why can't I shack up with a couple extra women? Huh? Why the hell not?"
The two new wives, ranked hierarchically as 'number two' (Longenhurden) and 'number three' (Nabob), have already settled into Stornaway, the official residence of the leader of the opposition, and assured reporters they both love their new man.
Longenhurden said she fell in love with Harper because of his tireless efforts to defend "traditional" marriage. "The way my Stevie has so eloquently explained the threat gay marriage poses to our great country, how can you not love that?" asked wife number two, a long-time Canadian Alliance and Conservative party activist who first met Harper at a swingers' convention.
Gay Marriage Photo
The threat of gay marriage is only starting to emerge
(Photo courtesy of samesexmarriage.ca)
"Imagine, gay people marrying. How abhorrent. That's not my Canada."
One brave reporter asked Nabob, a massage therapist, if the Leader of the Official Opposition was 'man' enough to...(shudder) satisfy three wives.
"Oh my God, yes," enthused wife number three. "It might not come across on TV, but my Stevie's a man of great...appetite. He can't get enough. The word 'insatiable' almost comes to mind."
"He's a raging inferno of passion, that Stephen is," confirmed Longenhurden. "I just hope I get first crack at big Stevie tonight!"
While it was suggested by some radical left-wing, bongo-playing chick reporter that polygamy is seen by many as extremely patriarchal and misogynistic, Harper brushed it off.
"A man having three wives isn't demeaning to women. Just because I rank them by number, we're still all equal. Me, Laureen, Elsa, and wife number three...what's her name again? We're all equal. As long as they agree with me, we're all equal."
Furthermore, he wouldn't rule out taking on more wives in the future.
"It depends how things work out. Once I'm Prime Minister, I'll probably need a couple more around, just to keep everything in order, and so I can have a couple of wives on call for all the traveling I'll be doing and all the dignitaries I'll be hosting."
While remarkably candid about his own affairs, Canada's newest bigamist refused to confirm rumours that Conservative Foreign Affairs critic, Stockwell Day (remember him?), will marry a donkey this weekend, in an effort to defy the nation's animal marriage laws and challenge the matter before the Supreme Court.
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The Legendary Shack Shakers at Southpawby kiolan2,647 views
Why does he have Budweiser in his hand and not Molson Canadian?
gtrefghuk 2 years ago
After being viewed by 54,242 viewers who made 346 comments, (including 2 of mine) YouTube has deleted, (or Archived) the 2 day old video showing our PM Steven Harper pocketing the communion wafer offered to him by a Catholic priest at a friends
Funeral.
The video was removed and all the positive and negative posted comments went with it and are lost.
I think PM Harper acted correctly when faced with a decision which he could have avoided had he been properly prepped by his handlers.
CanadaLarry 2 years ago
Most of the comments that were posted wanted to condemn PM Harper for his action. Some of the lost comments clearly show the writer has no real knowledge of the scriptures about the mass and the sharing of the body of Christ and its meaning. PM Harper made a wise decision and I believe he knew exactly what he was doing. If you knew what Jesus said about the sharing of the blood and body of Christ, I think you will agree with me. He did the right thing.
Read the small portion of scripture below.
CanadaLarry 2 years ago
The Holy Bible says -
1 Corinthians 13
26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Load's death till he comes.
27 Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord.
28 But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that bread and drink of that cup.
29 For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manner eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord's Body.
CanadaLarry 2 years ago
PM Harper made his own decision and it is not our place to judge his actions.
God will do that for us.
Its between PM Harper and God, and we should look to our own future and beliefs.
If I have time I will write a video and explain these comments to the millions of Canadians who havent got a clue about what these last 4 posting were all about.
CanadaLarry 2 years ago
Since when was Harper fighting the NAU?
Explain your video, Please.
CanadaLarry 2 years ago
what a strange thing to post
Frankenpalin 2 years ago