Bit His What? [AKA: The Birds, The Bees and The Shrimp]

A skit from the cosplay masquerade at ConnectiCon 2007.

Edit: Mae's actually says "Whatever you say, but one of those people was Sergeant Laurel, and her job is to literally spoil most of his endeavors." Submitted by TheOriginalJellicle. Thanks! :D

Script submitted by live4him4eva:

Ed: Uhm, Riza? Why are we out here again?
Riza: Colonel just went into that inn with six women. What?! That's disgusting...
Ed: So?
Riza: You don't care?
Ed: Not really.
Maes: You do realize I have two people keeping track of him at all times, don't you Lieutenant Colonel? I mean, it's not really necessary--
Riza: It's necessary if I say it's necessary!
Maes: Whatever you say, but one of those people was Sergeant Laurel, and her job is to literally spoil most of his endeavors.
Ed: Look, I'm awfully busy.
Roy: AHHHG!!
Maes: Right on time.
Ed: I'm gonna investigate.
Maes: Hold on you might want to sit out of this one...
Ed: No way! I gotta figure out what scared him so badly! Oh man!
Ed: Hey! Hey, hi. I'm, woah. I'm Edward Elric, the world famous, Fullmetal Alchemist.
Sleaze: Sure, whatever.
Ed: Okay, uhm, can I ask you a few questions?
Sleaze: I suppose.
Ed: Awesome. So, uhm, what exactly did you do to him?
Sleaze: Well, me and the girls were just having a bit of, "Harmless Fun," really. And then one of the girls, well, she, she bit the Colonel.
Ed: Ah, so the Colonel's afraid of being bitten... Okay, so where exactly did you bite him?
Riza: ED! ...I think we need to have a little talk.
Ed: What kind of talk?
Riza: Lieutenant Colonel Hughes has a daughter, why don't you handle this?
Maes: You see Ed, when a man and a woman... or in Roy's case, several women, love each other very, very much--
Ed: Yeah, that's really interesting, but I was getting some good information from her, so I'm gonna go back to her.
Riza: I don't think that being bitten in that way could be considered good information, Ed.
Ed: Well, why not? It obviously freaked him out. I could use that tactic against him in the future. ... What?! What?
Hughes: -picks up phone- Lieutenant Colonel Hughes here. Gracia? Oh my god!
Ed: What? ...Oh that's funny.
Riza: When the lady here said that she bit Roy, she meant in a place where men don't really want to be bitten.
Ed: Like, the neck?
Maes, to Gracia on the phone: Did you get a picture?!
Riza: Think of a place where you never want to be kicked.
Ed: HOH!! OHH!!!
Maes, to Gracia on the phone: She did?! I can't believe I didn't see it!
Ed: Oh, I better go lie down... I'm gonna be sick.
Maes, to Gracia on the phone: Oh, I'll put the pictures all over the office, Roy will LOVE it!!

Category:

Film & Animation

Tags:

• Connecticon
• 2007
• Masquerade
• Ed
• Roy
• Birds
• Bees
• Shrimp

[FMAfan123100]

"i could use that tactic against him" *yaoi fangirls die*

*regular fans are WTF-ed*

*I crack up*

BEST COSPLAY SKIT EVER

[Goldenwolf546]

fake bush - 1$

Costumes - 30$

Ed's reaction - priceless

[Animegurl158]

O.O ED DON'T PUKE IN AL'S ARMOR K?

[crystalstorm9]

OMG LOL

[LittleMissKarate]

xDD Fangirl spazzzzzmmmmmmssss :L

[DDisappearance]

This is so good! I laughed so had when Ed figured out where the girl actually bit the Colonel xD Must say that skit was brilliant!

[firehchan]

That Hughes was probably the best i've seen :O

The voice even sounded just like him <3

BEST SKIT EVER.

[undyingphoenixfire]

i would love to live in a world where bushes can move

[xXxMikuStoriesxXx]

0:36 ARRRRGH! XD

[roseheart222]

No!!! Ed don't use it in future fights!!!!!!

[WildHowrses]

LMAO Hughes: "Oh, right on time"

XD JUST got that...

[CarriePoes]

That was hilarious,