Potentially Good Date Gone Bad...Red Flags We Can All Learn From/ Black Love/ B Intentional

VISIT http://www.blackloveandmarriage.com FOR MORE VIDEOS AND ARTICLES

A lot of people have dates that go wrong. Unfortunately some dates go so wrong that it leaves some people to question whether they should consider dating outside of their race. In this video we answer the questions of a black woman that just recently began dating brothas again (she stopped dating black men for a period of 10 years). Her first date was with a Rasta...and she was optimistic as she is Rastafarian too. Unfortunately her potentially good date went real bad real fast. Ultimately what we're asking her to do is to look at herself, her judgement, who she is attracted to, who she is attracting, and then answer the one word million dollar question---WHY?

A couple of Red Flags stood out to us in this situation that we can all learn from...

#1: This young lady shared how excited she was because she had finally met a black man she was interested in and he shared her same spiritual system. Word To The Wise: While it's normal to be excited about an upcoming date and the possibilities that exist, you should always balance that natural enthusiasm with level headed observation and discernment. Sometimes, we let our imaginations get the best of us and see more than is really there. For example, this sista was excited that the young man was Rasta---but, forreal---so what. How many of us know folks who say they are something and once we get to know them we realize they are not quite what we thought. And, just because two folks are both Rasta, or Muslim, or Christian, or Yoruba (you get the picture) doesn't mean they believe the same thing. That may be hard for some to understand. But, spirituality is so vastly boundless and personal. You shouldn't assume you know a potential suitor's spiritual location based on what they call themselves alone.

#2: This young lady says she felt a bit uneasy because this dude seemed pretty anxious to get her over his house. Maybe, we're just old school--- but first date's shouldn't be at someone's house! I mean you don't know this person. Safety 1st! So, you've spoken on the phone and know that you are mutually interested in each other. Ok, big deal. This doesn't mean you get to come to my place or that I will come to yours. It means we can get together--in public.....like on an actual date. I'm sorry, but if you're starting out on the first date in the house---that's a problem. And, no a lot of money doesn't have to be spent to go out. As a matter of fact while sitting on my couch writing this I just googled Totally Free Dating Ideas and found a boat load of ideas in 2 seconds so there's no excuse!

Visit us at http://www.blackloveandmarriage.com

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• Rasta
• black
• love
• marriage
• intentional
• bbm
• bbw
• men
• women
• ebony
• dating
• interracial
• relationships
• mixed

[SLICENSLASH]

@MrLocario ...but of coarse she wanted to make her intentions appear clearly innocent.

[SLICENSLASH]

@MrLocario , she probably wanted to see how he was living, and make an assessment on how paid he was. Not much other reason to be alone at a strange man's crib if you dont want to have sex.

[pbg98pbgpbg98pbg]

I want to thank BINTENTIONAL and all the people who commented. I was being naive. I know that now, back then I would have called it hopeful. As much as this was not an A+ experience for me, just being able to "interact" with my own (black brotha) after 10 years, was so comforting to me, I would do it all again. For that reason, I love my black men, and will continue to date them. Only, next time, I will suggest an "outing" for our first date, instead of inside an apartment. Love and unity.

[excersizer]

i think this sister shouldn't take it all so personal and basically turn this into a white and black, because it shouldn't be. You've got bad men in every race. What she should do is ask her self why she even went to this dude's house on there first meeting?.... that was flag and a definite no-no. Peace

[epd0126]

oK yall..screen your questions..this is just stupid..dont underestimate your audience..however your answer was mature and insightful

[MrLocario]

Why the hell do women go to a dudes house if she isn't planning on having sex with him. What does she expect.

[blacktigerwu]

Well if it he was doing all that why was she there for 2 hours WTH!!!

[KeeKeeAllNatural]

This woman is my definition of a silly woman...How in the world is she 30+ year old woman acting as if she is so naive. How did she expect this man to have respect for her when she shows up at his house without even knowing him? She could have been murdered. This subject isn't a "Black Thing" it is a "You Thing". I get tired of people giving us a bad rap. It sounds like this woman needs to get out of denial and take responsibility for her own actions. SSSSHHHHHHEEEEEEESSSSSHHHHH! smh

[nshouston31]

Great advice