Alfie Kohn on Positive Reinforcement
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Uploader Comments (naturemum)
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Do not waste your time with these people folks. Their minds are closed and we can do nothing to open them but present some information that will plant the seed. It is up to them to water that seed. When they react like this, it is clear evidence that they are not ready. Spare yourselves the stress, and wasted time.
Love.
1 year ago 5
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Empty name-calling of this kind reflects poorly on the people doing it, not on the person being attacked.
2 years ago 5
All Comments (17)
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@bahramf ...a while.
I mean, although it's not enough in itself to insure the same actions in the future, but it may sometimes help. Otherwise, I mean, you're going to pat kids of the back, take them for ice-cream, etc. If not when they do good, then when?: arbitrarily? when they do bad???
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@naturemum That's a really hard run-on to follow, but I'll try.
First, what in cathbad2468's comment was extrinsic motivation. You say "The is extrinsic motivation, what you described". I assume by "The" you meant "That", but I still don't know what you're referring to b/c cath... gave no examples of extrinsic motivation, except to say that refusing to pat a child of the back in just a mistake, which I agree with Kohn is saying, but in general, you gotta take a kid for an ice-cream once in...
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@cathbad2468 Rather than saying, "Good Job!" one ought to ask the child, "How do you feel inside, now? Why?" Then it is not thye parent doing the assessing, judging and rewarding, but it the child who is allowed to reflect on his/her own feelings concerning his/her actions.
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He sounds like Kirmet the frog
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The best way to reinforce good behavior is through good examples.
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@naturemum Yeah it has been about 3 months and after time I relaized it is best to present the info.... then just let it go. The only way a person will change is through themselves.
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I think he's mixing up extrinsic motivation and intrinsic motivation. If kids learn to do 'good' to get rewarded, you'll get the problem he is describing. If kids learn to *feel good about themselves* when they adhere to some value, they will make it a habit. Refusing to praise a child, give him a pat on the back, when he shows good character or genuinely expresses good values is just a mistake.
cathbad2468 10 months ago
@cathbad2468 The is extrinsic motivation, what you described. Intrinsic motivation would be the child seeing the happiness he just helped bring out in another person by doing a so-called "good act" toward the person, and the child in response feeling good about making another person feel good.
naturemum 10 months ago