Pre Marriage Counseling

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Many churches require a couple to go through pre marriage counseling in order for them to perform the ceremony. I personally think that that is a great idea, especially if the couple is very young.

No matter what your age, or your maturity level, it can be easy to get overwhelmed in the moment. You fall in love and you are so happy that you never stop to consider that it might not always be that way.

Pre marriage counseling, if done properly, can be a great way for both of you to make sure you are thinking things through and that you aren't just caught up in the moment.

It will "force" the two of you to seriously think about and consider what marriage is really all about. It isn't all "playing house" and having fun.

Here are some of the most common things that will be covered in counseling. Many young couples wouldn't think about, or talk about, these things before they are married if it weren't for the counseling:

1. Finances. Not very romantic I know, but do you have any idea how many fights can stem from financial burdens and concerns? A lot. It is extremely important for the two of you to know how the other thinks about money and money issues.

For example, do both of you think that you should save a little out of each paycheck? If so, how much? What about who will do the bills? Do you think you should both do them or do you think just one person should be in charge?

These may not sound like much but they can really cause problems later in your marriage.

Oh and one word of advice: you both should be involved in the bills. What would happen if only one person did the bills and something happened to them? The other person wouldn't know anything about where the money was, life insurance information, etc. Share the bills.

2. What about your views on having children? Do you both want them? If so, how many? Should one of you stay home and take care of them? If so, which one?

If both of you have careers that are important to you, this can really be a big issue.

If you both love your careers and neither of you wants to be a stay at home parent, the time to discover that is before you have kids (or even before you get married) not after.

3. Roles of each other. If both of you work do you think the household chores should be divvied up evenly? Or does one of you still cling to the notion that housework is "women's work" and lawn work is "men's work"?

If you both work full time, how will you feel if the bulk of the cooking and cleaning still rests on your shoulders? More than likely, after a while, you will start to feel pretty resentful if you feel like you are carrying more of the burden.

Again, these are just a few of the important topics that need to come up before you are married, not after. Covering these "un-romantic" topics early will help ensure no surprises later, and that is what pre marriage counseling is all about.

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