Hiding in the closet;One Shot

so, i decided to post this instead of IBL chapter 12. ;)
if i get like..hmm.. 6 comments on this, i'll post it. dealio?
spread out words about my channel to Nelena / Jelena fans?
please please.. hehe.
i can't thank you enough if you do it.
& yeah, i'm just gonna torture you guys and make you guys wait for chapter 12. haha.
chapter 12 will make SOMEONE say "I HATE YOU" to me. ;)
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I slammed the white apartment door with force and leaned against it, out of breath, as the recent events played over in my head like a scratched cd. Just how much did the world hate me nowadays? Of all the Starbucks in the city and all the hours of the day, we had to choose the same one.

I snorted at the thought.

"We".

There no longer was a "we", an "us", "you and me".

I shut my eyes and hugged myself tightly as if trying to prevent myself from breaking.

Pain was something I had gotten used to feeling lately. It was my only companion at times. Although it was suffocating, excruciating and drained me more than running a marathon, I was grateful for it. Pain was the only reminder that I was still alive. And as bad, depressing and morbid as that sounds, I really was grateful, even if I wished it away multiple times a day.

The reason of this is simply that for a while I felt gone. Like, I was there but not really there at all and I couldn't find myself, I didn't have the strength to get up and look for me, look for answers, a way out. I was numb. However, gradually the numbness started to wear off, getting replaced by a strange deep aching and a heavy heart... a heart heavy enough to make walking unbearable. So I stayed in bed, curled up in a ball, drenched in my tears.

When I was sure it was safe to open my eyes and not have another show of waterworks, I removed my arms from around my fragile self and raised my hands to cover my face as I let out a shriek.

God was I glad no one was home at the moment. Normally, I would have found comforting having my mom around to come running to me saying "Honey, honey! What happened?" as she would hold me in a tight embrace and spoil me with fresh baked chocolate cookies and random trips to the hair salon... but not today.

Today I wasn't feeling strong enough to let anybody see me break. I couldn't even let me see myself break. I had avoided all mirrors, glass windows and puddles as I ran home. All I knew was that I probably looked like a pouting raccoon. Whether it was because of the raindrops or my tears, I wasn't sure.
I let myself slide all the way to the wooden floor and sat there, not doing anything for a few minutes. Finally, I wiped away the water away from my face. My eyes slowly found their way to the closet and I stared at its door for the longest time. It seemed to be calling me, screaming my name. "Open me, Selena, open the god damn door!"

I didn't want to do it. I couldn't...

Before I even knew what was going on, I found myself in front of it; my fingers dangerously close to the knob. I gulped, a wave of fear washing over me. What was I doing? I cursed silently, knowing better than to fight the impulse. It was the most daring thing I had done in months.

Pathetic, I know.

I turned the knob slowly and crawled on my hands and knees towards a small hidden "passage" I had found when I was searching for my mother's raincoat. It was a little door and when you opened it all there was inside was... nothing, just more storage space. But no one knew about its' existence so I considered it and advantage. I stuck my hand in there and grabbed a box.

Though it wasn't just a box, it was a shoebox... our shoebox.

Ha. "Our".

I had to remind myself again. I always have to remind myself.

There is no "we", "our", "you and me", "us".

There's only the "formerly existing us".

I lift off the lid and hesitated.

All my memories with him were in it. Everything I had been running away from (until today) was in it. But I couldn't keep it in the dark anymore, not after today.

I never thought a simple trip to Starbucks would send me over the edge. But it did. He still had that toxic effect on me and it was time to face it.

Category:

Entertainment

Tags:

• Nelena
• bitches.

[crazycandi08]

omg love it..frikken awesome

[blackROSEpurple]

Fucking

[blackROSEpurple]

Freaking

[blackROSEpurple]

It so

[blackROSEpurple]

Loved

[nelena43]

Omg it was amazing!! U Need to post more stuff like this

[sakurafan1200]

This is amazzz! Your a really good writer and you deserve more subscribers then you have. Seriouly, good job( (: