I Have Two Moms

An interview with my oldest daughter about having lesbian parents

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• gay
• parenting
• lesbian
• glbt
• relationships
• family
• insight
• moms
• prop

[cymonebreathe]

your daughter is so strong and clear in her thoughts. you've raised her well.

[deborahdaughter7]

@cymonebreathe Thank you.

[queangel08]

I agree with kiasky1,

The use of stud/fem labels to express what society views as dominate/masculine and submissive/feminine acts is confusing and subjective.

I suggest stop labeling yourself as a fem and your partner as a stud to your children and focus on the idea that no matter what gender a parent or parents view themselves as, its better for the children to be grateful to just have people period who love and cherish them.

[deborahdaughter7]

@queangel08 I don't label myself as anything but mom to my kid. That was the purpose of the video. It's funny though that people would think we spend our time labeling ourselves to kids. If it wasn't for her listening to the youtube videos I watch she would have never known what a stud or a femme was. I refuse to go in a box.

[americangirlfan12341]

DON'T BE GAY GAY SUCKS!!!

[deborahdaughter7]

@americangirlfan12341 That is so hateful. Gay people do not ask to be gay. That's like saying don't be black, black sucks or don't be asian. I feel sorry for this world. 

[ilm7]

wow your daughter is great.

[talkative12]

Stop the ignorance people please! Who you love is who you love---POINT BLANK!!! I happen to be heterosexual, but that's my preference. There's more than one definition of a couple or family. I applaud your confidence in who you are. Keep doing what you're doing sister! And for those of you who are still living in the dark ages----GET OVER YOURSELF!

[queangel08]

@deborahdaughter7

I am relieved to hear this. However, by letting your daughter watch and learn from these youtube videos on how to recognize a fem or stud you are subjecting her to human labels, which should not exist. There is no such thing as a stud, fem, ag, aggressive fem, lipstick, dom, butch, whatever because in the end there is only the Lesbian.

Hopefully you are teaching your daughter the negatives of labels, and the difference between labels and identity.

[vicorii]

@darklatios132 My sympathies for your friend on the loss.

To lose a father is a serious loss.

Nobody should ever be forced to pretend otherwise.

[darklatios132]

@vicorii

So my friend whose father died at a young age wasn't raised properly? .. I'd like to see proof that children need both a mother and a father. I have both a mother and a father, but my father is not fit to be a parent at all, since he has rejected me for my sexuality... so you're saying that gay parents are worse than straight ones..? .. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, but gay couples are NOT less than straight couples.. and their children are fine as well.

[vicorii]

@darklatios132 If gays want what is best for their child, they should recognize that having a "friend who stops by" isn't good enough. The child needs and deserves an actual mother AND father, preferably the child's real biological mother and father - it IS better to be raised by your own real parents - but if that genuinely isn't possible, the child should have a legally adopted mother/father.

This doesn't have to be incompatible with a gay lifestyle. Gays are just making it be so.

[darklatios132]

@vicorii But why exactly is it bad that a child doesn't have a mother or father? Sometimes a parent dies, and there's nothing you can do about it.. so why is it a bad thing if they have two moms or two dads? I don't see the problem with it.

Actually, many same-sex couples have a friend of the opposite gender who act as the male/female role model that the family is missing, or in other cases, it is the sperm donor who acts as such. I think that these children are fine just the way they are.