No Easy Way To Say This - The Doubleclicks

Song 13 of song-a-week: Original Song by the Doubleclicks.

http://thedoubleclicks.com/blog

Lyrics:
You've made a generous offer and I wish I could accept it
But I'm afraid to say you've asked me on imperfect information
I'm a danger to you and others and while I'd love to be your girlfriend
There is something you should know that introduces complications

There's no easy way to say this
but I think that I'm a vampire
My teeth are getting pointy and I stay up late at night
I don't think that you could take it
if I turned into a vampire
so you'll have to find a different date to prom.

I have mixed feelings about this entire situation
Now that I know what's happening I do feel some relief
I hate to have to hurt you, but I know that you will thank me
when my horrific and powerful transition is complete

There's no easy way to say this
but I think that I'm a zombie
I'm feeling rather sluggish and getting bored with normal food
I don't think that you could take it
if I turned into a zombie
so you'll have to find a different date to prom.

You might think that there's a different explanation
for these symptoms in a normal phenomenon
You may say that I'm getting strange ideas
from the books I read or forums I post on
But those are your excuses
Crazy stories you come up with because you're scared
This relationship is over
I can't be with you; you should give thanks that you've been spared

There's no easy way to say this
but I think that I'm Cthulu
I am longing for the ocean and so very very tired
I don't think that you could take it
if I turned into cthulu
so you'll have to find a different date to prom.
please just ask a different girl to prom

Category:

Music

Tags:

• the doubleclicks
• no easy way to say this
• vampire
• cthulu
• zombie
• nerd folk
• filk
• double clicks

[bonogofsky]

This is amazing. When you said Cthulu I snorted a little too loudly for this quiet office at work. Sorry everyone at work...

[twh115]

Look we've all been trapped in the bathroom while our girlfriend claws at the thin wooden door keeping her out and screams how she wants to feast on our blood and gorge on our brains...oh wait. just me? alright then.

[gregoryvn3]

Well, this pretty much tops any of the relationship breakup reasons and excuses I've gotten before, which is really saying something. Funnier, too. Well done!

[PtchewPtchewPtchew]

I might actually use some of these...

[frodo5343]

All hail the great Cthulu! Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

[MichaelSpeaks]

EXCELLENT!!!  Great song! Thanks for sharing!

[seeker6789]

Oh come on....... I actually got a few of those excuses.....I feel so bad now LOL