Going From Friends-With-Benefits To Boyfriend

"How do you turn friends-with-benefits into something more?"

We asked the top love experts to give the final word on the most-asked relationship and dating questions. This is "The Final Word."

For more on friends with benefits, visit YourTango.com!
How Can I Find A Friend With Benefits?
http://www.yourtango.com/201074143/how-can-i-find-friend-benefits

Kick The Friends With Benefits Habit
http://www.yourtango.com/20087563/kicking-the-friends-with-benefits-habit

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transcript of video:
How do I change our friends-with-benefits into a long-term relationship?

That's common.

You don't.

That's pretty much all there is to it.

That's a tricky question, I'm not going to lie.

Friends with benefits that start typically never, never, friends with a lot more than benefits.

If you have feelings, um, doesn't really matter unless he also has feelings. And if he has feelings, he'll probably act on his feelings.

You've established the precedent that there are no strings attached, the guy's used to it; expectations have now shifted.

You can never just have sex with someone and think that it's purely physical. There will always be an emotional component to sex.

You have only one option. You have to sit down and you have to talk to this person. You have to tell them exactly how you feel.

There are subtle ways to hint at the fact that you're ready to take it to the next step.

Now, know going in to this conversation that there's a high likelihood that they are now going to dismiss you.

If he thinks it comes to easily, he might want to keep it in that friends with benefit zone for a long time.

If anything, I'd caution you from getting deeper involved. I would probably cut off your sexual relationship before things go much further because you're bound to get more emotionally invested and therefore get hurt.

It might be dating other people and him seeing that you're this vibrant, awesome woman who's getting out there and then he might work harder for you.

If he asks why you're pulling away, and cutting off that relationship. tell him the truth: I'm starting to have feelings for you and I don't think it's heathy because I don't think this is going anywhere.

You have to be very honest with yourself, and by being honest with yourself, you have to be honest with him.

If he wants to step up and be your boyfriend, he's going to step up and be your boyfriend 'cause he knows the opportunity is there.

So I wish you the best but going into that conversation realize that it's going to be a tough one.

Protect yourself, and protect your heart and go invest your time in the guy who does wanna be your boyfriend, not the guy who just wants to be your once-a-week-guy.

Category:

Howto & Style

Tags:

• friends with benefits
• boyfriend
• turn into
• dating
• marriage
• sex
• friend
• casual sex

[yourtango]

for any of our readers who have had a bad experience with fwb's, what are some things that helped you get out that unhealthy situation?

[MichyGW]

I answered this so many times to friends who get themselves into such situation. YOU DON"T, YOU CAN"T. You shouldn't agree to that pointless bonding in the first place. because one person always from the get go wants more than the other is willing to offer, so they settle for "friends with benefit" package.

[phatcatty16]

Where was this video two freaking weeks ago when I needed it?!?!?

Errr had to learn the hard way -_-'

[rosemonroe321]

lol ican do all tht stuff...

[girlwiththesun3]

@yourtango I don't enter into it in the first place. Don't have sex with a guy right away. the one night stands drop out in the first week. The players drop out with in 3 weeks. Make him step up or tell him to step off. It might hurt at first but you will save yourself years of heart ache. No man wants a whore for a girlfriend or a wife for that matter.

[ashrl7]

I'm in a fwb situation now that absolutely sucks. It's gone on now for 8 months. I have expressed my feelings numerous times and he says "He's not ready for a relationship."...yet continues to give me mixed signals.I wish I never had put myself in the situation. I believe he really did like me at first. And now, I've gotten so deep, it seems impossible to stop.

[honorableninjas]

i say dont go for it cause one of you wont go for it but if you both do than stick to it and dont benefit without another person anymore if you got more than 1 benefits.

[amberlikesadobo]

It's truly unhealthy. It's hard when you get attached & things don't seem to go anywhere when feelings aren't reciprocated. When you end it, you're free but it's gonna hurt for a while. Not gonna lie.

[namesGabbs]

All I have to say is... don't do it. It hurts when you get caught up in your feelings and sometimes, it's hard to stop the relationship.

[soapopolous]

"you don't" hahahahah

[silkyballs22]

Ladys call and hear me stroke my 9in coc free at 405.5014234

[zinsisrocking]

i love your videos

thnx for the tips

[bardia52]

FWB is totally unhealthy, unless if you change your FWB every other week.