Anxiety Disorder.

This is for my mother. This is about my mother. This is about me. She'll probably never see this because she doesn't know this exists and won't for a while. A few years ago, I remember watching my mother completely fall apart. I had never seen her like that. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital. She was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and a sleep disorder. It was the anxiety order that killed me at first. I could hardly look at her falling apart without feeling myself fall apart as I hid in my room. I couldn't watch this woman who pretended to be my mother; the one who'd tucked me in when I was little and helped my father tickle torture me. She only knew how to cry back then.

That was what this video was going to be about. Then I was going through SacridiaDarque's channel, looking at her videos and learn from them. I first heard that song, Look Away. I was in the middle of editing this video and I was seconds away from crying. Only practice kept me from doing so. Then I remembered when my outlook changed.

Every time I thought about doing something, I didn't. I just pretended that it wasn't there. I started to pray harder than I ever had that she would go back to the other person she was. Suddenly, one day, I had to take care of her by myself as my dad was at work. This is where her sleeping disorder came in. I had to repeatedly tell her to get ready; to take out her contacts, get on her pajamas, and to stay in bed. She was almost like a toddler.

That was the moment where I stopped just being there and started actually *being* there, if you get what I mean.

This video is about that.

I blame SacridiaDarque for making this video longer than a minute. And thank her. At the same time.

-----

First song: The Ashoken Farewell
Artist: Celtic Woman

Second song: Look Away
Artist: Thousand Foot Krutch

Clips from: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles

Programs used : Sony Vegas Pro 9

People:
Chu'nyan: Me
Chu'nyan's mother: My mother before the hospitalization
Sakura: My mother after she defeats this.

Category:

Entertainment

Tags:

• Tsubasa
• Reservoir
• Chronicles
• AMV
• SacridiaDarque
• Anxiety
• Disorder
• Look
• Away
• Thousand
• Foot
• Krutch
• The
• Ashoken
• Farewell
• Celtic
• Woman
• Larken

[XiodeTheOne]

I lol'd

[MegamiofHibiki]

Kortnee, over these past several years I have grown to know you. You are strong, and sweet, and such a good person. Right now, you and your mom have some hard times going. But with time they WILL pass. Your strength and optimism will get you through this. God will heal her. Just be strong and love her as you are. And you have so many people that will love you both, and keep you in their prayers. I'm just one of them. Love you, sis.

[ClarinetFreak007]

I love this :3 it's amazing Kort! and I feel like a mush ball now XD but seriously, you are one of the kindest and most outgoing people I know, and i'm positive your mother will always look back on the days you helped her with a smile, because you are a true blessing to those around you!

[SacridiaDarque]

Every time I hear "Look Away," I have to cry. It got me through a really tough time in my life; and nowadays it reminds me of how I'm all better now. c:

LOL, I wasn't expecting my name to show up in the description, but if you say so. XD;;

On a serious note, I wish both you and your mother the best this world has to offer. You're an honest and loving person with the patience of a saint, and I'm sure that one of these days it will be rewarded. Keep your chin high, love. <3