Speaking to Alzheimer's

I first observed my mother had serious memory problems in the fall of 1992. She was formally disagnosed with Alzheimer's in 1999. In 2002, she was no longer able to live at home, even with 24/7 live-ins, and I moved her into a dementia facility near me.

Category:

Howto & Style

Tags:

• Alzheimer's
• mother
• daughter
• communication

[PauleQueenie]

May I ask what your thoughts were when your own mother could not recognize you anymore?

And may I ask too, why you posted this really thoughtfull video on Youtube?

[peoples74]

That particular loss wasn't so sad for me, most likely because it didn't happen overnight. Also, I'm not so sure she DOESN'T recognize me after all. I doubt she thinks "oh, this is my daughter" or has any specific memories of times we've shared. But I believe she still feels some kind of strong positive connection to me.

Why post here? Initially because I wanted to share my grief. Now because I want to share that is is NOT all grief. There is still joy to be found in my interactions with her.

[hayleeeeeloveslife]

This breaks my heart, my grandmother has is. Does singing help?

[peoples74]

My mom still seems to enjoy being sung to, but she can't sing with me anymore. She just can't pull it together enough to carry a tune; it's too hard.

She turned 90 in December 2009 and she's still hanging in there. She's got a strong appetite and no difficulty yet with swallowing. She can't sit up anymore, though, she has to be propped up with pillows in her wheelchair or she just lolls to one side. She's starting to show signs of contracture, too.

[peoples74]

This video is about 3 years old. My mom is still alive!

She no longer remembers the words nor tunes to the songs we once sang together. She still likes music, though, and has a good sense of rhythm. She smiles, slumped in her wheelchair, eyes closed, tapping her knees in time to the music.

She has no memory of her past, she lives totally in the present, and she is blissfully happy. She is as close to being in Nirvana as anybody I've ever seen.

Life, it is complicated...

[Flid666]

This made me really upset :( my mum is 50 and has bad memory problems, yet we do not know whever she has alzeheimers or not.

you are strong and I hope god gives you the strength you need.

[peoples74]

thank you, Flid666.

It's been about 18 months since that video was shot. She's lost more of her self -- she can no longer walk or feed herself, and she's forgotten the words to the songs we used to sing together. But she still enjoys hearing me sing to her, and sometimes she hums along.

[TomxLx93]

She's a well good beatboxer.

[RitvarLegend]

isnt the mind, her heart knows that you are part of her, inside her body is a live part of you.

[incubusdriver]

she's spreaking...and singing, from the heart

[misstricianicole]

she reminds me so much of my grandmother when she was still here! i loved her sooo much. i still do. she had alzheimer's and it was so sad to watch. but she used to do the same thing! when she had trouble speaking, she would still sing and hum and tap her feet. she seemed very happy at that stage. thank you for sharing this. in a way, this is comforting to me because i miss my grammy SO much. every single day.

[mariadc075]

this is the stage my mother is in.is so sad to see this i actually had to cry...it hurts to see them this way.

[itsCARLDOUGLAS]

I used to care for dementia patients and i used to sing with them to. This disease is so sad :(

[PauleQueenie]

@peoples74 you think in a beautifully realistic manner and this needs to be appreciated.Quite correctly, people such as your mother may retain the connection, the "something" which makes people comfortable and known to a level not quite conscious and therefore not verbal. I think you posting this video is commendable to many people who may wish to find experience similar to yours. Alzheimer's people do not provide answers only those grieving seek through their grief answers they could not have