broken inside by Linda Crowhurst

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• broken
• inside
• by
• Linda
• Crowhurst

[835283]

I had a roommate with the disease M.E and he was forced to take heavy anti-psychotic drugs everyday which made him worse and they kept forcing him to take it. I was in a mental hospital with him in 2009 and they forced the same drugs on me also which made me throw up for 3 months which in the end gave me M.E destroyed my immune system. I haven't heard from my friend since 2009 when was was forced to take drugs as he was sectioned for having M.E, horrendous what I witnessed him go through, MY GOD

[MEasdead]

I feel the same way most of the time, sometimes less sometimes much more..but always like this..I had a collapse where I couldn't move couldn't open my eyes, could only talk like I had marbles in my mouth, then not at all, could only cry, then no more tears..all the time could only hear and think in my brain, screaming no no I'm not drunk I'm not on drugs, I don't know what's wrong with me..beyond scary...surreal..awake but not functioning in any way..ty for share..

[Dawny789]

I just had a bad relapse when the thoughts in my head seemed to get frazzeled and brun out and my brain just seemed to shut down and I felt empty in side for a while. Just like my brain blew a fuse and had to reset itself and repair the damge. Scarry. Has any one else had anything like this happen to them?

[luminescentfeeling]

Thanks for making this and explaining some of your horrible symptoms to us. Upsetting to see, but very real.

What you describe is exactly how I feel - like being *cognitively* anethetised, stunned, drugged.

I am so spaced out I have to hold my head physically to check it's still on or touch my chest to 'feel' that I am here.

Like having no centre of your head (core), as if the perception of sensation has gone and you're made out of foam (brain).

Maybe we can 'feel' reduced blood?

[kaazoom]

I think I understand a bit about what you are saying. I sometimes go to walk and it's like I am stuck, the message to my legs doesn't get through, or I go to pick something up or speak and get stuck. It is a very hard to explain this. You know what you want to do but can't.

I'm glad you look better than you have in recent months. I know looks can be deceptive though. You are both in my prayers.

[Dawny789]

I read an article about the damage to the vestibular system, which I think may be the cause of some of my problems. It said the brain is like a TV and the aerial is the vestibular system. If that is damaged the brain does not receive proper signals and causes problems, like the brain is disconnected to the body.

[ivortick]

Dear Linda, Well done on being able to put this video together in a coherent way, you may feel as tho your brain is disconnected but you came across intelligably - if that's any help! I do pray that deep down you will still know the peace of God. Love and prayers Nigel

[redrachel76]

Thanks for posting this video Linda. It must be difficult for you but I feel less alone when I hear from you. Where I live I do not know any people who have M.E in a severe way like myself. So hearing from others like you is important.

I don't have this disconnection symptom you've described but I relate so much to the exhaustion/weakness + brainfog.

Thank u again for your video.

[neelubird]

Looks can be deceptive though- that's why it doesn't feel like a compliment when someone says "you look great" when you feel like cr@p.The worst thing is knowing that people like Drs and the DWP lot see you and think "you look fine" as well so it's even harder to get support.I've had experiences when I try to eat a chocolate bar but my hand puts the chocolate bar on my cheek instead of in my mouth lol- quite funny if it weren't so messy!  Is that what you mean by the body feeling disconnected?

[lednugenna]

its so frustrating when your brain,mind and body can not connect. So sorry that you are feeling this way. You look great though. somehow it never helps to hear that for me. We have you in our prayers.