A Washington Heights Christmas Story

A new take on the classic "Twas The Night Before Christmas" set in Washington Heights aka The Hood aka Uptown Manhattan.

Lyrics:

'Twas the day before Christmas, in Washington Heights

Not a buyer was stirring, not even a dyke



With no customers in sight, funds were bare,

Leaving no hope that St. Nicholas would be there;



How would he make money for gifts?

Instead of getting people as high as a kite;

Then he spotted a white man

He would steal his bike!


I like that ride,

the thug sternly said,

Then the white man said thank you,

and offered him bread.

This is a stick up man!

He motioned a gun.

Then a curious by stander screamed

Run Forrest, run!

The white man ran,

hoping the thug was not near



Then he got clocked in the head, with a can of beer

I want all yo money fool,

The thug demand,

but the white boy was so dazed he didntreprimanded?

I got presents to buy to child support to pay,

This clearly wasnt this thugs day;

I am really sorry and I wish I could help,

But when you hit me with that can, I peed myself.

Then From around the corner came a bustling sound

That Almost made the thug shoot a round


"now, damn it! now, darnit! now, Valiums Im blitzen!

Oh shawty, oh lordy, my dandruff is rippin!

Was this Kris Kringle? No, not at all.

It was the bum named Rico by the side of the wall.

A 7-day hangover left him grouchy as could be,

But when he saw this quarrel, he drew the boundaries

So he gave the thug a briefcase full of cash

And for the white man, well he smacked that ass

And the homeless man that gave so much

Ran off into the city, the New York Rush

Oscar Cordero as the Thug
Bleek as the White Man
Kevin as the Dyke and "Run, Forrest, Run!" Guy.
Uly Lendor as the Bum/Vampire thing/Himself

Category:

Nonprofits & Activism

Tags:

• washington
• heights
• twas
• the
• night
• before
• christmas
• ghetto
• hood
• spoof

[taserpower1]

<------ WATCH MY STUN GUN VIDEO (3.2 million volts of power)

[kanookle]

@taserpower1 you would die at that man volts.

[kervyn]

Did you hear that Chicken head call at :14 secs? "Coo Cooo!!!"

[kanookle]

@kervyn Actually those were sounds from a porno.

[homie6552]

wtf is this

[kanookle]

Read the title and feel a little smarter.

[330sniper]

dominicans have a percentage of black in their DNA, i have seen some with hair nappy as mine if not nappier lmao

[from212]

Why hasn't this gotten more hits? This was pretty hilarious.

[pqstr]

@from212 so are you American or white?

[from212]

@dannyslipknot55 no, that's the corner of 160th and riverside drive in manhattan.

[from212]

@spongebobby1996 they are Dominican, not black. 

[StreetBoxingFed]

LOLLL this is funny

[kervyn]

Nice.