CaLokie and Don Kingfisher Campbell perform @ The Rapp Saloon

2/4/2011 (poem below)

REVISED JESUS

John the Positive Thinker in silky clerical gown
on national TV from Crystal Cathedral
built on desert land cleared of orange groves,
exhorting

Americans with honey moisten lips not to worry
but be happy as revised Elijah before him
Norman Vincent Peale had done in
preparing

the people for another
coming

of a revised Jesus--who, after
crucifixion by H.L. Mencken's skeptical
reporting

of Scopes Monkey trial in 1925 and his burial
during Great Depression and World War II but
rising

from the dead by Citizen Hearst's
puffing

of Billy Graham's 1949 tent evangelistic
crusade in Los Angeles
and after 40 days
traveling

on banquet circuit
meeting

Satan in redwood forest
being

clear-cut of 2000 year old trees
but this time
tricking

tempter to give him global market
domination for only what was left
of "warmth of land, freshness of air
and sparkle of water
Then afterwards as he was
passing

by Wall Street, he solicited all those who have
became rich off the labor of others to come
unto him and he would give them relief
from their heavy burden of taxes but later
shopping

in garment district
sharing

with sweatshop workers the good news
that if they want to enter God's kingdom
they must first have the faith of that camel
who crawled through the eye of a needle.
and straightway after
tele-preaching

from Sermon on Mount Network
the following revised beatitudes and curses:

"Blessed be you rich
for you ain't seen nothin' yet!

Woe unto you poor
for survival of fittest and poverty
for least fit are laws of nature

Blessed are you that hunger for profits
for they shall be maximized!

Woe unto you who hunger for food
for you'll have to work for starvation wages

Blessed are you strongest
for you'll shout, 'We're number one!'

Woe to you meek
for nobody likes losers.

Blessed are you merciless
for you shall be elected
to highest political offices

Woe unto you merciful
for you shall be labeled soft on crime
and weak on defense

And after these sayings
suffering

all unborn to come unto him and
aborting

them not but
warning

them after birth
they're on their own
and then while
traveling

throughout the land
healing

all those who came unto him
without preexisting conditions
and could afford most expensive
healthcare in world
and then in fullness of time
riding

in chauffeur driven stretch Rolls Royce
to Republican Convention and after
entering

auditorium to thunderous applause and
singing

of "God Bless America" along with red,
white and blue balloons
descending
from ceiling and then
after long pause
urging

great multitude of revised disciples there
to beat crosses into assault rifles
and do a little
crucifying

of their own

Category:

Entertainment

Tags:

• poetry