Let's Talk w/Ateya-Take Four

A woman is now 36 Years old. Her mom is dying of cancer. Her step dad started to sexually touch her at ages 12 or 13. She wants to know if its ok to tell her mom this on her dying bed or let it go...

Speak on it

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[sweetaz678]

I truly DON'T AGREE with u all stating that she should just not tell her mother b/c she is dying. What if her mother was dying when this was happening when she was 12/13. Would she have to knuckle down and bear it then? I think the secret is going to be hard to bear at ANY stage of life. By advising her to bear it b/c its "too late" ur not ONLY empowering the perpetrator, but sending a message to ALL victims young and old that their secrets should only be divulged under stress-free conditions.

[Bahama06]

I think she should tell her mother. May God Bless her

[MedusaNegrita]

@sweetaz678 I think there is no right or wrong answer to this. This is her perception of what she should be doing. I understand both situations. But I do lean on not telling.

[ceddyvette]

Well here Ateya i tend to agree with you. She should let her mother see the Father with a smile on her face. Now with her, im sure its not a simple thing of letting it go. And kicking his butt is not going to change what happen when she was younger. tho is might not be easy, she has to find the strenth deep inside herself to forgive. Then she will be set free to live life without that hovering over her head. Her mother cant set her free from this. Only she can.

[prettyboy1970]

I agree with lateishabrwn; this should have been brought up with her mom a long time ago and dealt with before. Her mother is already in one of the worst imaginable situations, and adding more bad news won't help anything at this point.

[sbabwb]

Also, some of these comments are coming from la la land. What if she told her and the mother says that she doesn't believe it.That would crush the daughter.

[sbabwb]

This **it needs to stop!!!!

[sbabwb]

I don't want to sound heartless but, all the time we hear the stories of women so desperate to have a man that they allow any ol'fool in their home.

[sbabwb]

I'm late responding to this but, it makes no sense to tell her now. Honestly, she must think about it... her mother picked that fool. what does that say about your mother? I'm pretty sure this man has done other things that were wrong that her mother let pass.  I hope she let her mother die in peace.

[latieshabrwn]

this lady is 36 years old. my question is why she didnt tell her mom when she was 20,25 or even 30 years old. or even before her mother was on her death bed. i belive that this situation is haunting this young lady because she is involed in something against her mom other than what was disclosed.

[bornavirgo]

Hey Ateya! NO NO NO NO NO!!!!! don't do it!!! that would just crush her moms heart because she can't do to much about it at this point...and I know a part of her knows this! however, she feels as if shes keeping something from her mom that she feels she should have told her long ago. I can understand her situation...but just know that shes not alone anymore because by her finally opening up about it, she can move on. GOD is GOOD!!!