AYUP

Watfords north of London, its rather an insipid town
But further north of that they say its pretty grim all around
I went up there once, cause I fell asleep on a train..
Spent an afternoon and came straight back south again

Soap operas on the telly, hanging monkeys in Hartlepool
Scousers in shell suits thinking they look really cool
6 inches of froth and only half an inch of beer
No wonder theyre all bloody down here

North of Watford, well they say its grim up there
your hat must say kiss me quick the natives turn and stare
North of Watford, usage of English is scant
To err is human, to ayup just bloody ignorant

North of Watford you wouldnt believe what they eat
Black pudding, thats blood in a sock and pigs feet
I tried an Italian restaurant call il apostrophe
And had penne aribiarta, with chips and mushy peas

North of Watford where stereotypes abound
Flat caps, whippets and joy riders buzz around
Women in their pinnys and men in their clogs
Bank holidays at Blackpool staring at the fog

But jokes aside are we not all the same at heart,
We are all gods creatures if you take us apart
If you peel the skin off a northerner, in the long run
Youre left with is a feeling of smug satisfaction and the sense of a job well done..

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• north of watford
• up north
• scouser
• hartlepool monkey
• shell suit
• mushy peas
• kiss me quick
• blackpool
• beer

[geoff1945]

I am an expat southerner having worked in the North for the last 38 years.

This song has damaged my work as a missionary beyond repair.

I have only just been able to drop my pseudo Northern accent, adopted after the Boris Johnson affair in Liverpool - where the only southerners walk around in groups of eleven and don't stay long! Now I'll have to don a cloth cap and drag a bloody whippet around with me again!

Still the day you spent was not wasted as you honed your observation skills well!

[monello198]

@geoff1945

you are a very brave man to have maintained your missionary position for so many years..

my advice is to devorce the whippet and return to the south at once, fatted calf on standby

;-}~

[vegasdaddy17]

Classic Mikee...Get Tha' coat on Lad and we'll go down t' Boozer for a Pint and a game o' 5s and 3s...LOL...Billy from Sweatland!...

[monello198]

@vegasdaddy17

billy my boy...

the north serves a very useful purpose..

it's a sort of buffer zone, a no mans land between us where nothing thrives and all is bleak wasteland..

;-}~

[Gregparkerblues]

We in Australia.have to live at least 1000 miles from other Australians,before we can 'despise' them like that ! 5*****

[monello198]

@Gregparkerblues

we're lucky, the French are only 20 miles away

lol

;-}~

[rutlegirl]

Ayup Monello! lol... what does it mean.... like a hello greeting in Liverpudlian? I only once heard this on the very end of "Bungalow Bill" off the white album.... and I always thought it was "Hey Op" haha

[streetspiritlive]

nannerbj etc. has a point...

the north has more than that you mentioned...

You bloody fool!

i'd eat you in a second if i could!!!

[streetspiritlive]

from the kittie/street

the French are closer

than you think,

or the odd polar bear

wanderin in the (wilds) lol!!

[nannerbj]

Sounds like a great place !!! Get the wine back - you dont look right without it !

[geoff1945]

Ha-ha! You are truly observant to realise that the doggy-position could be interspersed with the missionary position for as many varieties as Tim's age (if you understand this please explain it to me)

Though the thought of a fatted calf appeals, I think I owe it to my adopted peoples to continue my work up here. It will be sufficient to tune in to your smooth dulcet tones to remind me of my past.