5000 Words

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sharonnsinger
February 20, 2009

This song is about what I do when I'm not writing and singing songs. For the uninitiated: 5000 words is considered to be a very respectable day's work in my profession... FIVE THOUSAND WORDS (Lyri...

This song is about what I do when I'm not writing and singing songs. For the uninitiated: 5000 words is considered to be a very respectable day's work in my profession...

FIVE THOUSAND WORDS
(Lyrics and music © by Sharon Neeman)

The clock showed close to quitting time; my desk was almost clear;
I thought perhaps I'd slip around the corner for a beer
But the phone rang and I answered and a friendly voice said "Hi!"
It was the secretary of a legal firm nearby.

She said "Oh, please excuse me calling this late in the day,
But we have a new petition in a case that's under way;
Can you translate it tomorrow? Any time by five will do
'Cause we wouldn't want to give the work to anyone but you

It's only

Five thousand words for tomorrow at five;"
I thought "I'll do that easily; I'll scarcely have to strive,"
So I smiled and said "No problem; I'll just add it to my bill,
And you'll send a check on Friday?" And she said "You know we will."

* * *

I set to work at eight AM; I cut my lunch date short;
By five the stuff was ready to be filed before the Court;
I sent it off by email and I poured a cup of tea
And the phone rang and I answered and a lawyer asked for me:

"I've just leafed through your translation, and I think it's very good,
And I'd like you to translate an affidavit, if you could;
It's the size of that petition well, perhaps a little more
And you know that I'd be grateful if you'd have it in by four

It's only

Six thousand words for tomorrow at four;"
I thought "I'll get up early; I've a longish day in store,"
And I shrugged and said "No problem; I'll just add it to my bill,
And you'll send a check on Friday?" And he said "You know we will."

* * *

I hit the desk at seven and I ate my lunch alone;
I never touched the Solitaire or gossiped on the phone;
At four o'clock I sent it off and shook my weary head
And the phone rang and I answered and the junior partner said:

"I really have to thank you for a job superbly done,
And I'm sure you'll be delighted, 'cause we've got another one:
I've just finished my summation, and you know how glad I'd be
If your excellent translation could be on my desk by three

It's only

Eight thousand words for tomorrow at three;"
I thought, "It won't be easy but I'll have the evening free,"
So I sighed and said "No problem; I'll just add it to my bill,
And you'll send a check on Friday?" And she said "You know we will."

* * *

I started at five-thirty, and my lunch was just a snack;
At three I typed the last few words and sent the email back;
I flexed my aching fingers and I silently rejoiced
And the phone rang and I answered and the senior partner's voice

Said "You really are a wonder, and your talents are unique
In fact, that's why we've kept you very busy all this week;
Now, I know that it's short notice, but I have to count on you
For the Judge needs my rebuttal to be on her desk at two

It's only

Ten thousand words for tomorrow at two;"
I thought, "How can I tell him that it's just too much to do?"
But I groaned and said "No problem; I'll just add it to my bill,
And you'll send a check on Friday?" And he said "You know we will."

* * *

I staggered in at four AM; I never ate a bite;
But I got it done by two, although it was a trifle tight;
I was dizzy, I was queasy, and I thought I'd never budge
But the phone rang and I answered and by God, it was the Judge!

She said, "I know you're tired, and I really hate to ask,
But there's no one in the city that can do this one last task:
For I've handed down my ruling," and she gave a modest cough,
"And at one PM tomorrow, the courier takes off

It's only

Twelve thousand words for tomorrow at one;"
My mind screamed "No, Your Honor! There are things that can't be done!"
But the words came out "No problem; I'll just add it to my bill "
And it's been four months since Friday, and the b*****s owe me still!

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GoshikkuRorita (1 week ago) Show Hide

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I'm studying for being a translator and this song just scared me :P Though is very veery funny and really well done :D

mmaloof71 (3 weeks ago) Show Hide

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Absolutely brilliant Sharon! The theme song of my life ... :-)

Tzoutzouni (2 months ago) Show Hide

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This should be the national anthem of translators.

caramil2007 (2 months ago) Show Hide

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I just loved it! Thanks! Most people (who don't translate) have no idea how this feels...

mofolarry (3 months ago) Show Hide

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lmao

GREAT stuff. Just reminded me of that one time I had to translate 5,000 words in 3 and a half hours.

Congrats on the lyric composition, great stuff!

todalasal (3 months ago) Show Hide

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And it's been 4 months since friday
and the bastards owe me still
!!!

MrGamebraker (4 months ago) Show Hide

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THAT is so lol

slapperloz (5 months ago) Show Hide

-3

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this isnt very good

madeirade1 (5 months ago) Show Hide

-1

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Thank you so much for this song!

iskretta (5 months ago) Show Hide

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Sharon, this song is so true I don't know if I should laugh or cry...

We've all been through this in our translator lives, thank you so much for making it so brilliant and funny!

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5000 Words

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