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New High Tech Voting Machine Lets Voters Mutilate Candidate They Oppose

TheOnion TheOnion·846 videos
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Published on Nov 17, 2012

Record turnout is expected at the polls thanks to a groundbreaking new voting booth that lets Americans violently murder the candidate they hate the most.

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Top Comments

  • JoshShaps

    JoshShaps 6 months ago

    This would actually increase voter turnout a lot. 

    · 138

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  • BoxNinjaProductions

    BoxNinjaProductions 6 months ago

    i really wanna vote for Dick McPenis...or maybe against him so i can see a Dick McPenis eaten by a giant spider...im torn...

    · 71

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All Comments (349)

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  • SuperGreenSmartie

    SuperGreenSmartie 3 weeks ago

    0:40 Jesus Christ.

    ·

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  • Robert Parker

    Robert Parker 3 months ago

    So how do i vote for jill stein

    ·

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  • Chad Picard

    Chad Picard 4 months ago

    too bad this isn't real, sigh.

    ·

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  • bill burr

    bill burr 4 months ago

    queer

    ·

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    in reply to peronix8 (Show the comment)
  • peronix8

    peronix8 4 months ago

    The slightest bit of wit or irony would do. Oh well.

    ·

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    in reply to bill burr (Show the comment)
  • bill burr

    bill burr 4 months ago

    sorry I didn't write an essay for you

    ·

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    in reply to peronix8 (Show the comment)
  • Thesterness

    Thesterness 4 months ago

    But....what if you want to vote for a third party??

    ·

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  • peronix8

    peronix8 4 months ago

    Kind of a stale and predictable response, but OK.

    ·

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    in reply to bill burr (Show the comment)
  • bill burr

    bill burr 4 months ago

    what a great idea

    ·

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  • bill burr

    bill burr 4 months ago

    you have wasted your time

    ·

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    in reply to peronix8 (Show the comment)
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