Was it right to stop dating a guy with asperger's?

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People & Blogs

Tags:

• dating
• nlla
• asperger

[aspietrait101]

Big thanks to moderators for doing a great job interpretting to NTs how Aspies have difficulty expressing feelings. The big take-home message to NTs is to give relationships time, lots of time. We actually feel more intensely than NTs deep down inside. Showing & communicating emotions is the big challenge.

NTs, you will catch on though to our small or somewhat odd signs of affection, so don't give up hope, because we are more than worth it in my opinion. Have a sense of humor & patience.

[thuzan117]

@Guruboy27 i know what your talking about but i still don't view it that way. as hard as it can be at times i still like being an aspie. i think it helps me at times and when i look at other people i see that i've turned out better than them in the ways that matter. i believe that if you did get into a relationship you could easily maintain it, provided you pick someone you understand. the obstacle for us is that first goddam leap of faith.

[thuzan117]

if she broke up with him because she didn't feel certain about it or because she didn't feel he returned her feelings i assume the best move is to talk to him. one thing aspies always understand is logic and plain, blunt talk. we can't easily convey our feelings, part of it is inherent and the other part is that when we have done so in the past we inadvertently offended a person. imagine if you were constantly checking over every sentance for anything which could anger them.

[thuzan117]

@guitaristman23 as a fellow aspie i understand your concern but you kind of just develop a familiarity with certain people, that and a system of sorts. when i was a kid i hated it when my mom hugged me and when she does it unexpectedly or surprises me with it i still get put off balance but eventually i started initiating the hugs at times i thought appropriate and so on. if it's the right person and you develop a familiarity to them it won't be an issue.

[oneif80]

You three are the biggest stooges I've ever heard. You apparently have little clue about Aspergers and the statistics about relationships.  There are very few people who have happy relationships when it's an aspergers person and a non aspergers person.

[Guruboy27]

I'm hiring an female escort; because I can never have a girlfriend or a wife;

Because life has dealt me a bad hand with this and I didn't ask for it.

[guitaristman23]

i still don't really understand the importance of marriage and why people just can't live and not worry about a piece of paper.but i don't like being touched or touching other people so i highly doubt i would ever have a girlfriend...

[Narutodoobutz]

@H0tkebab: I agree with you there when you said, "it just means we have difficulty expressing it in a way that a person without aspergers would pick up on it. Its something that we have to learn how to overcome. "

I'm a 26 year old single male with Asperger's Syndrome, and I know exactly where you're coming from with that. It's hard for us to express love in a way that a person without it would pick up on. But we can learn. I'm learning now... Never too late. :-)

[H0tkebab]

The best way I can describe being aspergers (as far as emotions go) is being emotionally mute. It doesn't mean that we can't feel love and compassion for another individual, it just means we have difficulty expressing it in a way that a person without aspergers would pick up on it. Its something that we have to learn how to overcome.