Red Raspberry Dollars Unwrapping And Taste Test Review

These will come in handy if you ever have a stubborn wisdom tooth that needs removing.
Or if you're gluing together the wings of a small business plane.

Packaging

Pink is such a widely use color. So much so that there's even an international pop star named after it. She's seems very punkish, like somebody who would start a bar fight but get away with it because she's so adorable. Yet another advantage to being a woman. Flirting is a very underrated art, the likes of which I have not yet mastered. If a guy ever batted his eyes at a cop to get out of a speeding ticket, he'd probably have those long dainty lashes removed by force. Pepper spray can burn off hair right? I know it's capable of sizzling taste buds so hair shouldn't be too difficult. It's all just cells and molecules mashed together to look recognizable. If I saw a hair cell up close and a taste bud cell up close, I'd never be able to tell the difference. Not because I failed Biology (Which I did) but because everything would look the same. Just a bunch of tiny dots packed together. Some items might have more dots and some might have less, it doesn't really matter. Because in the end, we're all made up of the same stuff. How trippy is it that we have so much in common with a wood desk, a cheeseburger, or even a pair of sunglasses? Go ahead, talk to your keyboard. Connect with it. He's been sitting there for ages just waiting for a change of pace. Day in and day out, his little face gets pounded by your meaty paws. He didn't ask for this life, it was thrust upon him. Maybe this mound of molecules wanted to be something else. Which brings up another questions, can molecules think? Seeing as how they make up the brain, I'd say they can. I've even read some stories about people who claim they can feel every molecule in their body. Just think about that for a second. I did a bit of math and found out that you have jabillions of molecules. Basically, you multiply a couple trillion by a couple bazillion and you've got your answer. It sounds like it'd be cool at first, I would just hope there's a way to turn it off.

I don't want to be vibrating for the rest of my life.

Taste, Texture, And Consistency

After eating this "candy", I found myself wanting to chew rubber. A big rubber tire that's been through 10 years of oil, muck, and grime. All because I knew it would taste better than what I had just consumed. I hesitate to even say what I did was "eating". It was more like overcoming an obstacle as there was nothing enjoyable about the experience at all. The smell was nonexistent, the box was ugly as sin, and the taste was ungodly. I thought they would at least have dollar signs on them, but no, I had to look at some haphazardly stamped name. IT WASN'T EVEN CENTERED PROPERLY! Look, I'm not a picky man. I enjoy walks on the beach, wet dog noses, and candy that makes my soul tingle. However, when I'm presented with this pathetic excuse for a candy, I don't know what to think anymore. Was it a joke? Did the store I buy it from have an overstock of April Fool's candy and this happened to be one of them? I don't know and frankly, I don't care. Just looking at this box will most likely give me nightmares that will haunt my life for years to come. You did this to me Heide Red Raspberry Dollars, and I will not forget.

YOU DID THIS!


Overall

Kill it with fire.

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• one
• of
• the
• worst
• things
• i've
• ever
• eaten
• candy
• chocolate
• review
• sir
• sebastian
• why
• color
• red
• what
• does
• that
• contribute
• exactly
• nothing
• but
• suffering
• and
• hopelessness
• sigh
• now
• i'm
• depressed
• where
• my
• jar
• hazelnut
• cream
• nutella

[SeventhSwell]

I wish I'd seen this video before I found these on sale at the store just now. There was one box left and it was 41 cents. I figured, how bad could it be? ... I managed to choke down two "dollars" but, I like my teeth too much to eat any more.

[frickfrock999]

@SeventhSwell

It's okay.

You're safe now.

[HDKMajors]

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? TORTURING LITTLE DWARF CHILDREN WITH THOSE SWEET TEMPTATIONS?

[frickfrock999]

@HDKMajors

You make it sound like I had a choice in the matter.

[Electronitron]

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? STICK TO CHOCOLATE REVIEWS.

[frickfrock999]

@Electronitron

But... I like my sweet candies... :(

[sweetdenni]

I haven't seen those in a LONG TIME!!

[Shadowwind5]

WASH YOUR TEETH

[pigsbum53]

i don't mind you doing winegums! and i like you doing both sweets and chocolate :D

[YGOAbridgedFTW]

mmhhhhmmmm mmmmhhhmmmmm mmmhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[TheAussieBoys2]

@frickfrock999 i like this no DO WANT u wanna :)

[MrOldestPerson]

@frickfrock999 i hope you can too, we will support you! GOGOGO!

[HDKMajors]

@frickfrock999 maybe you did? You're probably being tested by me to see if your emotions of dwarf children will break. You passed sadly. But that is a guess. Maybe you could say i am GLaDO's brother but maybe not.

[HDKMajors]

Derp. Herpity Derp derp.