Is Using A Minotaur To Gore Detainees A Form Of Torture?

In The Know panelists discuss the closing of the controversial detainee labyrinth and debate whether the Minotaur's sternum-stomping-by-hooves interrogation technique yielded valuable intelligence.

Category:

• Comedy

Tags:

• comedy
• funny
• onion
• satire
• fake
• news
• politics
• torture
• dick
• cheney
• guantanamo
• bay
• waterboarding
• bush
• geneva

[Mortinium]

@megamantwelve This is the problem, these Minotaurs think they can hop over from the realms of fantasy, come here and steal our jobs. You let one in then you let them all in. It will end in them demanding equal rights. I say we should keep them in the never ending labyrinth of pain where they can be controlled and observed, or in gladiatorial combat with death-row prisoners for our amusement.

[scorael]

It's completely unsubstantiated.

[randomIy]

I was waiting for one of them to volunteer to be put in the maze so they can prove that it's not torture.

[ISleepWithAFanOn]

If we got rid of the Minotaur, I'd be out of a job. I'm a translator. Although their language is much simpler than ours, the Minotaur roughly says that "the circular design (which was designed by Cheney) adds to the anxiety levels of the detainees due to the unexpectedness of what's around the circular halls, thus causing the detainees to be more likely to crack under the pressure and divulge useful information."

[ccaian1]

@Mortinium

Minotaurs have the exact same rights as normal humans does!!!! I'm tired of this people saying that minotaurs are destroying our economy and shit like that.

THEY'RE ONE OF US TOO YOU KNOW!

[trolltacular1]

@kennyzk27 yes, and they have been used in the form of interrogation, much like the aforementioned griffins used by al qaeda. this is to say though that the chinese use of mermaids to coax information from prisoners, before dragging them to a watery grave, is also a breach of human rights.

[IWantAGreatName]

Right when she said "vacuuming", someone started to vacuum in the other room. Is my mom Clifford Banes?

[kennyzk27]

Minotaurs are real?



[Chunkboi]

@TheMors666 Agreed. And of course we even see the difference in efficacy in current events. Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld used minotaur torture to get dubious information and left us in a mess. At least Obama had the good sense to use proper intelligence analysts and certified scrying specialists. And he deployed a surgical strike with selkies, AND GOT THE JOB DONE.

[TheMors666]

@Mortinium It's narrow-minded people like you who are ruining this country. If it were up to you, trolls and goblins would still be using separate public bathrooms and gnomes wouldn't be allowed to eat in human only restaurants.

What you fail to realize is that these minotaurs are taking the jobs that humans don't want in the first place. Or do you want humans having to go back to patrolling labyrinths, fighting in arenas and working at Denny's? Ya, didn't think so.

[SobingDeath]

@flamingarse1 lol thanks for pointing out the obvios i wasnt sure where he got that ...jkjk all