Circumcised at 18

I got circumcised when i was 18 and it has been a complete Nightmare since then. There really are no words to explain how traumatizing & devastating this has been. I did it because of various stupid insecure reasons (got made fun of in school, was told it would be a lot better etc..) not knowing at all the Hell i was getting myself into. Being young & naive i did not look into the dark history or anything else about circumcision thinking that they would tell me everything i needed to know. I also didn't know that it was really only done in America for the most part.

Well if i only knew then what i know now.... I did it strictly for the look (just to fit in) and of course the doctor did not let me know anything at all or tell me any of the consequences (which is their responsibility to do if they are operating on someone and someone's life is in their hands). I actually was told that I would have more feeling & sensation which I know now is the biggest Lie in the world Ever. I still can't believe that they told me that.

After they did it i basically had no sensation or feeling at all in my penis. I knew something was completely not right but i thought if i just waited maybe things would change but it only got worse. I was in total denial for a long while because i didn't want to believe that things were as bad as they were. One day reality hit me though. And it hit me hard. As hard as it was i knew i had to stop being in denial to move on and heal.

When i called up the doctor to tell him how upset i was he said that it's me and that kind of thing does not happen. He cut me off and said he's busy and not to call him again. Then he hung up on me. They never even charged me for having it done which i didn't understand at the time. He knew though after i talked to him that he screwed up not telling me what the consequences were and they were hoping that i didn't pursue legal action (which i did try to do a little too late). I received a statement in the mail saying "Thank you for your complete payment." I didn't even pay them yet either so i didn't understand what the hell was going on at the time.

Sexually though i seriously went from a 10 to basically a zero and i did not really understand what was going on and had no idea what to do. It was just such a shock and so traumatizing to experience such an extreme difference in feeling and sensation. I really got into a very deep dark depression and basically have been really depressed since then. I maybe have gotten a little better but not that much. I try not to be as suicidal and self destructive but it's definitely not easy because it still comes back to haunt me all the time, constantly. I have nightmares a lot too. I just can't believe people and doctors can completely ruin a person's life like that and still get away with it. It does not make any sense at all. Circumcision is just evil and should be outlawed.

I did finally try to sue but they said i waited too long. I guess i wasted too much time locked up in my room being depressed and numb. If only i had known i could and looked into suing earlier. I didn't have a computer at the time and the internet is where most of the information was. I really wish i had a computer at that time. Maybe things would have been different.

I joined NORM in Pittsburgh to get some kind of help through this nightmare and hopefully i will eventually get some sensation and enjoyment back again. I've been restoring for 3 1/2 years and i seemed to have grown a good amount of outer skin. I'm almost completely covered when soft. i think i'm at a plateau now though. I still have had no increase in sensation at all which is what i'm really worried about and don't know if i ever will.

I was cut extremely bad. I had a very long foreskin. They took my whole frenulum and practically all of my inner mucosa. I really would like to learn how to grow the inner mucosa. I know that does take a lot longer to grow than the outer skin. I don't know though if i will have any enjoyment again because of the circumcision.

I'm really trying to be patient though and to keep hoping that with time maybe i will get something back and there will be some kind of improvement hopefully. Right now though it's like i don't even have a penis. I can't even masturbate anymore and it's definitely not psychological. I know for a fact that it is because of the circumcision.

It's extremely depressing. My brain still kinda remembers how unbelievably good it always felt being intact and how i so enjoyed it then, so that makes it even worse. It's really a battle every single day to just keep it together. I know it will never be like it was but any improvement of sensitivity is better than what it's like now. I get no sexual enjoyment at all anymore because of circumcision.

Category:

Nonprofits & Activism

Tags:

• circumcision
• penis
• foreskin
• vagina
• clitoris
• labia
• sexual
• wounding
• mutilation
• medical
• fraud
• genital
• integrity
• human
• rights
• intactivist

[bookcrookliza]

Great video! I'm glad to see a video about somebody who has went through an elective circumcision and their experiences! My husband isn't circumcised and I'm pregnant now with a boy and he definitely will not!

[Bonobo3D]

@bookcrookliza Congratulations! The more you look at this issue the more you'll realize the importance of protecting your son's integrity. Your relationship with your son will be stronger for it.

[Bonobo3D]

@LiaPema Circumcision removes the five most sexually sensate areas of the penis, the rolling erotic dynamic of moveable skin as nature intended and protection for the glans. If you and your partner are fine with that and have no problem great, have fun. But to force that deficit upon an infant or child, or to coerce a young man into it without full disclosure of the facts and risks is unethical.

[Bonobo3D]

@markmywords53 You are a known circumfetish troll. You have a long recorded history making similar obsessive comments trying to promote genital cutting of children. Take your sick sexual fetish elsewhere.

[nightsdreamparadox]

Whenever I see people who write "god" all in uppercase, or their opposite, those who even refuse to write the whole word... I know they're fanatics, and their judgement is not to be trusted.

[jallohabubakarr]

@Bonobo3D let me tell you this those that are following this evolving ruthless world are lost.Those that against genital mutilation are they not same people that allowed abortion and same sex marriage what is that? At a time I was doing a research about abortion I watched a video on YouTube you should watch that video I didn't watch till the end because that is more than the word EVIL.

[Bonobo3D]

@jallohabubakarr The genitals are sensitive for a reason just like your fingertips are sensitive and your hearing is sensitive. Cutting erogenous body parts off children to ensure they won't commit "fornication" as adults is sexually repressive bullshit. Other religions manage to brainwash children without cutting them.

"why is it that it's not only ISLAM that is circumcising?" Other cultures abuse children in this way also, the main reason is the classic pattern of abuse. See "Alice Miller."

[Bonobo3D]

@jallohabubakarr I most certainly do not believe in gods, goddesses, Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy. Adults who believe in a sky god and other religious myths do so because those templates were imposed upon them in childhood.

I believe in rational thought. Free the slaves!

[jallohabubakarr]

@jallohabubakarr I want you to know something whether one believe in GOD or not he'll die one day and he'll be judged for his past Bonobo3D whether you believe in GOD or not the one that made you from his likeness will take your life one day and hereafter you'll giving your deeds if they are good or bad you'll see on that day.

me too I'll die one day and my accounts will be giving to me good vice or virtue I'll see on that day.

MAY ALLAH HAVE MERCY UPON US WE HIS SLAVES THAT BELIEVE IN HIM.

[jallohabubakarr]

@Bonobo3D @Bonobo3D It is to remove the sensitive part of the genital so girls won't commit fornication before being married according to the religions so she can control her self.Let me ask you a question why is it that it's not only ISLAM that is circumcising?

Well the fucking western powers must male must not be circumcised too not just female those that are saying that they're circumcised homie the male ones.

[jallohabubakarr]

@Bonobo3D those Muslims that are against genital cutting through the right way they're what we called "WA LA DAA LIN" ,Those that have gone astray believing in me is like a Muslim fasting the holy month of Ramadhan without doing the five daily prayers and saying his fast is complete while it is not.Circumcision was started by prophet Abraham he was told by GOD to do it just like he was told to sacrifice one of his sons.