How to Have Sex in the Office and Not Get Caught

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Whatever your reason for getting it on in the workplace -- and, trust us, we don't want to know -- make sure it stays between you and your amour.

To complete this How-To you will need:

Easy-to-remove clothes
A comfortable spot
Wet wipes

Step 1: Check for security cameras

Make sure you know the location of all office security cameras so your little romp isn't caught on tape. Surveillance equipment is typically placed near entry and exit points and in rooms than contain merchandise or other valuables. But employers have been known to put cameras in employees' private offices.

Tip: It's illegal to put cameras in restrooms, so that's usually a safe place.

Step 2: Dress for sex-cess

Dress for sex-cess, meaning clothes that go on and off quickly and don't wrinkle easily. Going commando saves a lot of time.

Tip: Ladies, remove your lipstick so your partner doesn't become a marked man.

Step 3: Look for privacy

Choose an out-of-the way location that doesn't get much foot traffic. A closet with a locked door is an excellent option.

Step 4: Fake a meeting

If one of you has an office, record yourselves having a fake conference call, then play the recording from behind closed doors; sounds of an important meeting will make co-workers think twice before barging in.

Tip: Lean a chair under the office doorknob to thwart surprise visitors; you can later claim the door was jammed if anyone asks.

Step 5: Clean up

Don't return to your desk without freshening up. Be sure to check your clothes for dead giveaways like inside-out blouses and missed buttons.

Step 6: Do it late at night

Play it safe by waiting until everyone leaves work for the night. Just make sure you know the cleaning staff's routine and schedule before you pick a time and place or you'll experience a whole different kind of coitus interruptus.

Step 7: Keep your lips zipped

If you are caught, say a simple "I'm sorry," and get back to work. Attempting to explain or justify can only make matters worse.

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Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• hothowtos
• office
• life
• romance
• sex
• having
• relationships
• workplace
• work
• job
• working

[nick66194]

What about how to have sex at home without getting caught...

[RebeccaKiidOx]

20% of men had sex in an office, but only the other 8% of woman hve had sex in an office, then are the other 12% men that are gay :L?

[gumbyhasgun]

How about.... How to have sex.

[tommymcintyre15]

orrrr GET A HOUSE

[NicoECvK]

@RebeccaKiidOx no... women who have sex in offices do it with 2.5x more people >.< maths n all that

[emisk8is]

i need the expert village:))

[KalensGames]

@RebeccaKiidOx The thing you don't understand is that there could be more girls than boys in an office, or maybe the girls had sex in an office more than one time.

[ham3233]

@RebeccaKiidOx no it just means that all of the women that work in offices are whores.

[brandweerBoZ]

603 people are caught having sex on work.

[lisajones12334]

ok i feel im gonna throw up