Ask yourself: Whom do I envy? What do I lie about?

www.happiness-project.com My First Splendid Truth about happiness is: to think about your happiness, you must think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth.

Research shows that the absence of "feeling bad" doesn't mean that you "feel good." Nevertheless, removing sources of bad feelings will protect your good feelings from being swamped by guilt, anger, remorse, irritation, envy, fear, anxiety, boredom, and all the rest of that awful family.

My own happiness project has been very focused on eliminating sources of feeling bad, because I realized that the thing standing most in the way of my happiness was...ME. I wasn't living up to the standard I expected from myself.

Some things that I've worked to stop doing—not that I've succeeded, but I've made some progress: gossiping, eating fake food (i.e., "food" that comes in crinkly packages from corner delis), nagging, drinking alcohol (I had to face the fact that drinking the tiniest bit of alcohol makes me incredibly belligerent), losing my temper, staying up too late, not flossing, not doing enough to help other people, leaving my clothes strewn around -- well, the list goes on and on.

I really feel happier when I'm not plagued with pricks of bad feelings.

So, without worrying yet about what you're going to do to relieve these feelings, examine your emotions as you go through your days.

When do you feel angry? What prompts feelings of guilt? When do you feel bored? Are you envious of anyone? Do you feel afraid -- of cancer, of terrorists, of identity theft, of losing your job? Etc.

These emotions are unpleasant, but they're VERY valuable. They're showing you what you need to change or accept. These feelings are so unpleasant, however, that we often pretend that we aren't experiencing them, or we try to ignore them. In some situations, this attitude is useful. But for this exercise, really concentrate on your negative moments.

Take envy. We often suppress or deny envious feelings, because envy is such a nasty, ignominious emotion. But envy teaches you something very important about yourself: there's something you want that you don't have. So what can you do about that situation?

Before you can fix bad feelings, you have to understand what's sparking them. So spend a week thinking about it.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• happiness
• self-knowledge
• change
• envy
• jealousy
• lying
• lies
• negative emotion
• positive emotion
• psychology

[GretchenRubinNY]

I'm pleased to hear you thought it was useful.

[GretchenRubinNY]

Thanks for watching.

[GretchenRubinNY]

Thanks!

[ladybug8634]

So, a man that lies about having a girlfriend, and uses other women, what would his problem be?

[Fervency]

I love the quote from Thomas Burton. Thank you for sharing it.

[VerveRuins]

Yes, it is time to purchase the book .... love the work you do. Thank you for sharing it.

[copyking12345]

very interesting

your very attractive to me too

[MargaritaShamrakov]

Hi Gretchen, this is really amazing! I am glad I found you on youtube.

I know whom I envy and what I want, however with my situation in life I realize there are some limitation and some things in life are in our control. I think I am envious because I am afraid I won't be able to be who I want to be.

[Takiyarts]

This is very thought provoking. You have a great way of putting things into perspective. There could actually be hidden treasures/blessings in the discoveries from these questions we ask ourselves. Wow...thanks!

[bookwormtami]

Great video....really enjoyed it....very thought provoking....

[craigdavid00]

I'll try this out. Seems like some reasonable ideas that can help out in the long run.