Light a Candle with Me January 13: Healing. Comfort. LIFE. (1 of 2)

[Part Two:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7eHg-ek5WM ]

My hope is that this will reach you all quickly enough. Whether you have a candle, a matchstick or a lighter, I hope you take some time to ignite a flicker of glow into the air. A light of remembrance. A light of warmth. Rekindling lost vitality and spirit. Mending the holes and hardened hearts tainted by grief, by loss, from mourning. A light to honour those whose lives have dimmed too quickly. A fire to restore us - the broken - so that we can reach out and touch others' lives, to always make sure theirs weren't lived and lost in vain.

I apologize for my scrubbed-out, washed-out, make-upless, sweatshirt-wearing, flushed face appearance....but, I'd had no plan on seeing anyone or going anywhere, let alone addressing those I care about most. However, this message was too important that I allowed myself to bear my acned-flesh and tear-stained face and broadcast to you all in hopes of sharing this journey together.

You are never foolish for addressing what ails you. You are not weak for still feeling torn. You must feel to move on. Moving on does NOT mean "letting go and forgetting" -- it means freeing yourself of the pain so that you can remember the beautiful impact they left on you. They don't have to be the closest person to you to be affected by their passing. Be true to your experience; it's okay and you don't need to 'get over it' or 'let it go' faster than your pace or whatever someone else SAYS is right. Just because someone else is 'over it' doesn't mean that their timeline matches YOURS. You have PERMISSION to not want to forget. You don't have to 'forget' anything. But, you *can* remember them and honour them without having to feel the immobilizing sorrow. You can remember them with a light in your heart and a smile in your soul. Healing exists; and, I won't let you walk the walk toward finding it, alone.

Little Alex Tristan Cobb has given me an enormous gift - he told me my heart beats to a different song and cadence than I ever knew. I can love differently and deeper than I ever believed. He's taught me I'm not defective, not broken. I have the ability to love. Even more, I can love my child more than my own self. And, with that, I now know I HAVE broken the cycle of generations before me.

**If you do light a candle? I'd love if you could take a quick photo and email it to me [include your story or whom your flame burned for, if you'd like] or submit it to my tumblr. If I get several, I'd like to put them together in one image and hopefully each year the collection will get bigger.
Email: blacknwhite.color@yahoo.com
Tumblr: carving-backbone.tumblr.com

Send your love to Rachael, Sydney, Adelle, the other adults and the kids too if you'd like here on the full system's tumblr: 30heartsbeat-inside-onechest.tumblr.com |OR| on Rachael/Addie/Kristie's blog: delicatedreams-fragilefear.tumblr.com

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[JLDead]

I'm still going through the video, but to see the phrase "I have broken the cycle of generations before me" is very powerful; it read as very empowering. It's a VERY valid point, and though there are tragic parts of that, I'm glad that there's something deeply important in it as well, maybe something that can show you some healing.

I'm a little hazy, but I hope that makes sense.

[OurPeanutGallerie]

@JLDead You actually made PERFECT sense. And, I'm so so glad that that phrase had stuck out to you. You're right -- I think I even overlooked the power of that statement. So, i'm very moved and glad that you pointed it out to me. You made perfect sense in all of your words and thoughts and I really really appreciate all you've had to offer us. So much love and hugs to you <333

[OurPeanutGallerie]

[no one's really sure why this one re-loaded itself. i'll go and delete the other one now. but there were several dozen views on this video and now it looks brand new...hmm?]

[400batman]

I'm terribly sorry about your loss and that it's taken me this long to respond

[JLDead]

@OurPeanutGallerie *hugs back*

I'm glad I pointed it out then :D